Tuesday and I’m still emotionally raw from this experience. What are the consequences?
I want Armitage — to write about Armitage. I want intensity, beauty, creativity, knowledge, wonder, words, flow, loss of self.
How to get there? Remember that intensity and think about where it comes from. Ditch the debris, ruthlessly. Spread love. Discipline self. Get things done. Reduce things to the essentials. Pause. Eyes on the story. Take my needs seriously. Take fantasy seriously — feelings about status, wounds, and the need for wholeness and love are not going to go away. Do everything beautifully. Don’t accumulate.
Armitage, I want you, I want that pure breath you breathe, I want the voice you project, the knowledge of how to move, and I want the stare and the turmoil in your eyes and the resolution.
I can see in you how to be strong, and I can remember I am stronger than I think.
Help me figure it out. I want words, to find all the words for all the things I see and can’t describe. I want to fulfill the promise of what I see, I want to write it all down, I want to make the implicit visible.