Porter confessions

Week before last: What a week. First the confirmation of the earlier rumor about the powhiri, then these Strike Back promotional photos from Clerihew. It’s not that there are only two axes on which I measure my Armitagemania, but the extremes of virtue and vice were definitely represented in my thoughts that week, and I was rescued from my confusion only temporarily by my intense need to finish grading. Here I’m following up on the post where I noted the reaction. I tried to make this cohere differently, and it didn’t work, so for today you get: my fantasies when I look at the picture. Here it is again.

Richard Armitage as John Porter in a promo photo related to Strike Back viral video by David Clerihew. Source: Русскоязычный Cайт Pичардa Армитиджa; I got it from Richard Armitage Net.

Here are my comments from way back when on how the video worked, by joining the perspectives of spectator and captor. Here are my comments shortly thereafter on possible viewer perspectives and the way in which the actor, by forcing us to watch, reverses some power relationships in the piece, as long as we don’t think about our ethics too closely. Here, again, are your comments about what you notice in the picture. Below, then, some of my fantasies, in no particular order. These are narrated in the fragmentary way I experience them, and like many fantasies, they are not internally consistent. Readers may find these inappropriate; none are sexually explicit in the form I’ve written them here, but caveat lector nonetheless, as they don’t put me in an especially savory light. I’m trying to keep it real here and take responsibility; I did consider not posting these today because it’s Easter Sunday, but this is all just as real to me as the previous two posts, and I don’t want to put it off any more. Key to being able to express these fantasies at all is something that CP noted, that we know that the actor submitted to having the photos taken — a double-edged interpretive sword that makes taboo thoughts permissible (“it’s only a character, not a real person being held captive / being tortured”) even as it points to the watery line between actor and character, as the fact that we have qualms at all relates at least partially to our perception that Porter is real, a feature that Mr. Armitage gives him, and that it is wrong to be aroused by even the implied suffering of others. It is “only” a performance, but it is a performance that intends to provoke (on whatever level). There’ll be more to say about this in upcoming posts.

In sum, for this post: I hope that when they read this, the people who wrote to me this week to confess that they’re troubled by their fantasies with regard either to Richard Armitage or some of the characters he plays in general or these pictures in specific may feel comforted that they are absolutely not alone in that.

***

I open the door to the room. Porter looks up. For a minute there’s a flash in his eyes, then he rearranges his expression, back to concentrated neutrality. I have a water bottle and a washcloth. I close the door behind me, walk over to him, open the bottle, and put it to his lips. He does not open his mouth. “You’d better drink while you can,” I say. “You don’t know when I’ll be back.” Still no response. I wet the cloth a little with some of the water, and dab as gently as I can at the wound on his head. He jerks his head away, but in doing so, his glance connects with mine. In it is a mixture of fury and shame. He holds his head still. I proffer the bottle again. He drinks, his eyes on me all the time. When he stops swallowing to catch his breath, I withdraw the bottle, and continue to wipe his face. He looks pointedly downward. When I’m done, I leave, but not without first grasping the back of his neck and forcing his face, and his glance, back up at me.

***

The lower half of the t-shirt makes his stomach look like a dirty marble statue. I want to touch it, stroking across lightly, and see what happens to his face. I want to touch lower, and see him struggle against the rope holding his hands together. I want to hear his breath come quicker and quicker. I want to stroke along his inner thighs, knowing he can’t really move his legs, and then press harder and harder.  I want to see him struggle to keep his eyes open and defiant and his mouth closed as I smooth his hair back from his forehead and draw the tip of my tongue gently down his earlobe. I want to see him tremble in his bonds, under my hands.

***

I open the door to the room. Porter looks up. He’s tied up very tightly. His eyes flash. I’ve got a gun and a water bottle. I close the door behind me, walk over to him, and put my hand over his mouth. He twists his head, twists all over in his bonds. “Look at me,” I say. “Look at me. Hold still.” He finally gives in. “I’ve got water for you, here, and a gun. The magazine is full. I’m putting it over here,” I gesture toward the door, near which I lay the gun on the floor, “and I’m going to untie your hands, first, and then your legs. You probably should stay here for a minute and make sure your circulation has been restored. If you want, I’ll massage your legs a bit. But you can’t stay long. The guard in the hall is asleep. There’s one more guard at the exterior door, whom you’ll have to overpower or kill. Here,” I say as I pull them out of my pocket, “are the keys to the jeep outside. I don’t know how much gas is in it. In the jeep are medical supplies, you can bandage the cuts on your arms.” Coming back to him, I press the water bottle to his lips, and he drinks for a moment, then pulls his head away, rasping out, “why should I trust you?” I stroke my hand along his hairline, and laugh. “Because you have no choice. Listen. You’ll have to put me out and tie my hands. Just try not to hurt me too badly.” I set the water bottle down, and reach behind his body to untie his hands. When they’re undone, he shakes his arms briefly, then reaches forward, pulls back an arm, and slams his fist into my skull.

***

I’m seated on the stained mattress with him, but I am free and he remains tied up. I ask him who he is, why he’s here, but he’s silent. Eventually I see his head drop, and then snap up sharply. “Rest your head on my lap,” I urge him. No response. “I know you’re tired.” I wait a few more minutes, until I see his head nod again. “I won’t hurt you,” I say. No response. But when his head drops the third time, I kneel up, reach over, and start pulling him sideways. Sensing no resistance, I edge over further, pull him off his knees and onto his side and shoulders, and place his head in my lap. He groans deeply as the blood rushes back into his calves and feet. I stroke along his hairline and ears, gently. When I take a moment to stroke along the stubble on his jaw, though, I feel moisture under my fingertips. I stop the stroking as I feel his breath slow, and he drifts off to sleep.

***

“You stink, John Porter,” I jeer, and without untying him, I begin to cut the filthy t-shirt off the top of his upper body. He struggles, but he’s tied up tightly and I remind him that I have a utility knife in my hands. His blood has encrusted it to his chest in some places. He still moves fitfully. “Do you want me to rip the shirt off, or take it off gently? Your choice.” He stills, and I reach over to a basin of warm water and a sponge, and start to soak the t-shirt off in the places where it is still clinging. “I’m going to disinfect these cuts,” I inform him when I’ve gotten the shirt off, and begin the work of cleaning and then bandaging. “Why are you doing this?” he asks. “You’re being traded back,” I reply. “Somebody cares.” He snorts, then winces as the disinfectant hits a particularly deep spot. “You’ll probably need stitches there,” I comment. He drops his head and grits his jaw. Even injured, his body is so beautiful. I can’t keep my mind on the task anymore, and I set down the implements of medicine and begin to rub his shoulders. “You’ll also probably need a chiropractor.” I feel his muscles tense under the pressure from my fingers, and his shoulders twist from side to side as he tries to ward off the invasive touch. “You’re so beautiful,” I say, “and all I’ve wanted to do since you’ve been here is touch you. Is that so bad?” His silence indicates his humiliation, which eventually transfers itself back to me. I pick up the sponge again, and giving him a last wipe all over, tell him that someone will be in soon to take him onward.

***

I burst into the room, followed by four armed soldiers. Surprised, his face starts up. I motion the soldiers to move on, but I enter the room. “What took you so long?” he rasps out, as a look of relief appears on his face, and then a grin. “Let’s get you out of these ropes,” I reply, pulling him forward so I can release his hands. He groans as he pulls his arms forward, his shoulders convulse, and muscles begin to burn; I push his body back as he loses balance, his upper body falling against mine, then help him to stand. More groans, as I first help him lean against the wall and then squat to loosen the ropes around his boots. We hear rifle fire from the corridor. He steps off the mattress and stamps his feet, wincing. He turns his head from side to side, quickly, estimating the situation, and looks down to see if I’ve got another firearm for him. “I’ll give you a gun,” I say, “if you’ll give me a kiss thank-you for untying you.” He leans over and puts his mouth over mine, biting my lips and then, as I open my mouth, quickly pressing harder with his tongue until I am gasping for breath. His hand moves to my breast, and then down my side until he’s found my sidearm. Kissing all the time, he pulls it out of the holster and then breaks off contact with a grin on his face, assuming a serious expression as he dashes out the door to join the rest of the team. Now I’m the one with the grin on her face.

~ by Servetus on April 24, 2011.

53 Responses to “Porter confessions”

  1. Wow – My hat off to you Servetus for going there.

    And I’m glad I’m reading this tonight, before going to bed, with a glass of wine, with the darkness all around me. Somehow, this is the space I needed to be in to immerse myself fully in these scenarios, rather than doing it in the glaring light of day.

    What does it say about me that I enjoyed reading all of these? And, the strange thing is that I had not seen myself in such scenarios when I was looking at the picture, except perhaps the second one….

    What also strikes me is how, in each of these, you have the power – and only you. He may be defiant, but he is still bound. You are the one that controls the situation, whether as saviour, abuser, or comforter.

    Those are my initial reactions. Have to read it again.

    Again, hats off for baring your thoughts – but I suspect there are many of us out there that are enjoying the voyeurism of both looking at THIS Porter, tied up, as much as immersing ourselves in your fantasies.

    Not sure what mine are – still haven’t been able to face up to them.

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    • Same here. I am not sure I want to go there.

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    • Well, I did get beaten up in one scenario. 🙂

      What’s always been interesting to me when thinking about fantasy in general is how different it is from reality. That is, on the one hand I think one of the major potential thrills of female heterosexuality is watching your partner react when you touch him and the thrill that causes. On the other hand, none of these are scenarios I ever have participated in in real life. Not even close.

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  2. Yay, Servetus, I’ve been waiting for this post from you as you’ve repeatedly told us that the character of John Porter has had a profound effect on you on many levels.

    This second fantasy spoke directly to me as I find Porter indescribably manly and beautiful. Also, in my fantasy, it would be just John and me alone, without guns or guards!

    “The lower half of the t-shirt makes his stomach look like a dirty marble statue. I want to touch it, stroking across lightly, and see what happens to his face. I want to touch lower, and see him struggle against the rope holding his hands together. I want to hear his breath come quicker and quicker. I want to stroke along his inner thighs, knowing he can’t really move his legs, and then press harder and harder. I want to see him struggle to keep his eyes open and defiant and his mouth closed as I smooth his hair back from his forehead and draw the tip of my tongue gently down his earlobe. I want to see him tremble in his bonds, under my hands.”

    The next step in your Armitage evolution must surely be fanfic writing! A Porter fan fic based on these David Clerihew images pretty please!

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    • What a wonderful idea MillyMe. I second that!

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    • I agree. Porter is the most beautiful man, and I love him even a lttle bit more than Lucas, maybe because he hasn’t that much emotional baggage. Somehow he’s more robust, but I don’t mean to belittle Lucas, of course. I love them both madly.

      That particular paragraph you quote describes very well what I am feeling when looking at the picture. I would never want to hurt him, but being able to play with him a little and watch him writihing in his bonds turns me on like nothing before.

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      • Yes hurting him just isn’t an option I’d consider. The idea of playing with him though ohhh yes.

        Perhaps doing it slowly, patiently and persistently until he actually realises that this feels good and he does want it very much.
        Getting him to beg for what he wants.

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        • I think that’s quite a challenge, but worth it, as he’s not a natural submissive 🙂

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          • Isn’t that part of the fantasy, forcing a strong man to cave to your wishes? He might not even ever admit it — there would just be his body reacting. The problem is that if he doesn’t admit that he enjoys it / wants it, then it’s clearly a rape fantasy. I spent a lot of time the last few days thinking about a woman perpetrating on man rape fantasy might involve. It’s provocative precisely because it reverses all of the man perpetrates on woman rape and or quasi/rape fantasies that pervade our culture.

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            • I’m glad you mentioned rape Servetus. I was thinking yesterday how much I identified with your #2 fantasy – the idea of having control over a powerful man’s body, and making it do things he might not want. Then I thought, surely that’s the equivalent of raping him.

              It was such an emotive and uncomfortable idea – me as rapist, albeit in fantasy – I couldn’t own it. So thank you for being honest enough to spell it out. The idea of women being powerful enough to take on that role seems to go against all our received ideas about male / female relationships. Though women do have ways of abusing men, as we know.

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  3. Ooo, I was dying to to see what you would say and it’s quite provocative. I commend you for going there; you’ve kept it very real and revealed a part of yourself without the overriding need to explain or justify it away.

    There is nothing wrong with these fantasies. I predict at least one of those scenarios has crossed our minds when looking this picture and the viral video. We as women are not encouraged to explore our sexual psyches even in our fantasies. Maybe we would not indulge these fantasies in real life, but exploring these scenarios internally is probably beneficial. These fantasies are not about enjoying Porter’s pain, they are about about tasting control and dominance, two issues females are taught to find unsettling and disturbing in reference to themselves. Acknowledging these fantasies is actually liberating IMHO.

    I really liked excerpts #1 and #2; one seems to follow the other. Surely there’s a entire story there? 😉

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    • Bravo Judy you’ve said a lot of what I wanted to there.

      Yes fantasies are a way in which we can safely explore parts of our sexual psyche that would be neither appropriate nor desirable in real life.

      Look at how many Guy fan fics explore the idea of sex with dubious consent. Would we want that in real life ? Of course we wouldn’t but the heroines of these fics are simply being encouraged to give in to desires that they themselves are repressing.

      It’s the flip side of what we feel here. We want to safely explore the ideas of both taking and relinquishing control and of dominance and submissiveness.
      (Neither of which we’re really encouraged to explore even today).

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      • It’s a matter of constant amusement to me that in our really over-sexualized world, there can still be desires that we don’t want to acknowledge. E.g., in the first scenario, where I pull his head back to look at me — that was really hard to write. And yet the need to make someone acknowledge your presence — that’s a really common one, I think. The expression here seems raw but the desire that underlies it is fairly pedestrian.

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  4. Brilliant stuff Servetus. Thanks for sharing with us. Yes it’s disturbing that I find these images exciting. On the other hand he isn’t actually being tortured before our eyes and if I saw these pics in a real life situation my feelings would be a lot different.

    The screencaps of Lucas being tortured in prison that we have provoke a very different reaction.
    I see those and I wince, I want to cry and I admire Lucas for the fact that even under those circumstances he never gave in.

    The exciting aspect of these pics is of a beautiful, powerful man
    bound and helpless.
    Look at his reaction when he breaks free in the vid. You feel both scared and thrilled by the thought of what he’s capable of doing at that moment.

    I love your ending especially. The brief erotic thrill of that kiss and his unashamed chutzpah as he takes the gun and leaves.

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    • What your comments point out to me is how hard it is to tell what’s “real.” That is to ask: what is the difference between these pictures of Porter and the pictures of Lucas being tortured in prison? I find it really hard to watch the scene where the terrorists rip out Lucas’s molar along with his tracker, for instance, because I believe that Porter is real in that setting. But how is that different from this one? Isn’t it just a question of a level of storytelling? But if nothing in a story is real, how do we draw moral conclusions from it? And how is a picture like the one we see above different from a picture of an actual prisoner? If the viewer didn’t know that one was a performance and the other was real, would there be a difference then?

      Regarding the chutzpah: this is something I find fascinating when I read fanfics, that is, for me, in order to work, the character as drawn in the fanfic (or in my case, the fantasy) has to connect in some significant way to the character as Armitage plays him. A lot of times writers are connecting with and amplifying one particular feature of a character (Guy as creature of boundless appetites, for example), and that’s fine with me. The fic / fantasy doesn’t have to be wholly consistent with the character. Some fantasies just don’t work with every character. I could not have brought myself to end the last fantasy with Porter confessing his eternal gratitude and pausing to kiss my feet or something like that. At the same time, that manifests a feature of my own psyche; I am uncomfortable with admiration and don’t like sticky / overly romantic moments. I am the woman for the fast goodbye.

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      • I’m wondering though…if Mr. A is really such a method actor – than perhaps it was real – in the moment at least – for him…no? What makes it more real? INitially, he consents to do the video and accepts to be bound. But once that’s done, he had to get himself into the mindset – for him, it would have been real, wouldn’t it? Perhaps that is why we have such a visceral reaction to these pictures. The line between performance and reality is completely blurred.

        I’m also wondering if what attracts/arouses us most in fantasies, is doing the exact opposite of how we behave in real life. For example, if I’m honest my fantasies would be less about controlling the situation, than – dare I say – being a bit controlled (not sure how far I’d go). In RL I have to be in control so much, to have someone else make the decisions can be very freeing. So, maybe that’s why I am connecting less with the ‘abuser’ fantasies…

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        • it’s hard to figure out what the passive fantasy would be in this case. Being a prisoner along with Porter?

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        • In some interview or other, Mr. Armitage mentioned that characters and motivations that are alien to his own are easiest to act. I thought that was an interesting idea – that it’s easier to be something completely different than to expose something too close to oneself.

          That said, I can’t help but wonder what goes through his mind when he sees something like this in a script or storyboard. Does he roll his eyes and think “I need a new agent”? Does he suck it up and do it for the paycheck? Does he like it? After all, extremity is red meat for a method actor.

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          • Perhaps he sees it as an opportunity to delve deeper into the human psyche, explore his own creativity and depths through this new challenge. Given the nuances and honesty he brings to his roles, one assumes he tries to honour each situation he is given on the page and see how he can best interpret it on screen.

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            • I wonder if this was more along the lines of an improvisation? That might have been even more interesting for him.

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              • LIke the hanging scene in Spooks…Just a script direction and he took it from there. And look at what came from that!! wow

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          • If that insight extends to writing, I can definitely confirm it. It’s very hard to write honestly.

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            • Perhaps because we are continually evolving…What I wrote a few minutes ago, might not be true anymore. I’ve read other’s words in reaction to it and I then have to see where that moves me to…

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  5. I bow before you:). For your courage to confess and for your talent of writing. All though I never thought of this thing looking at Porter, I was completly “lost” in your fantasies. And the last one gave me a grin on my face too. I suddenly saw Richard looking back at me with a “Guy” smirk on his face.*SIGH*

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    • Isn’t that part of the fantasy, too — that at some point the story is over and Mr. Armitage will remind us that it’s just a story?

      Thanks for the kind words.

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  6. Oddly, I continue to view these stills in terms of art; the art of the camera, the monochrome colours, the lighting. And of the expressiveness of the actor. Which seems a very detached viewpoint. (Or self-protection?)

    Personal fantasy would involve rescuing Porter, through using my considerable brain (in my dreams!) and feminine wiles (in my dreams) to get through the guards – oh and Ros hand-to-hand skills. Release the prisoner and rely on him to guide us through the rest of our escape. It’s a hangover from the days of devouring Girls’ Annuals and the like, full of the “plucky girl” stories.

    Then we’d be rather even in power, and the erotic fantasies can progress. Haven’t worked out that scenario yet. No Danni scenes for sure… there would still have to be much more of the Geraldine “juicy fist fights”…

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    • Not odd. It’s a very artistic picture, as some of the comments on the previous post noted — it bears resemblance to elements of “great art” as well. A great photographer, which Clerihew obviously is, would certainly seek to make his output as artistic as possible.

      I have rescue fantasies, too, about John Porter, but they are not provoked by this specific picture. 🙂

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  7. @Alfie, love the “Guy smirk” allusion! So apt.

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  8. Thanks for going there, Servetus.

    It’s interesting how so many of these scenarios involve the fantasist demanding something of Porter in exchange for his freedom – his gratitude, his desire, perhaps his love. That is a pure power play. We want him to beg; we want him to refuse to beg and remain bound. We never just cut him loose without condition.

    I was surprised to discover how readily the language of dominance and submission came to me in relation to these images, and surprised also to find that committing that kind of language to the page provoked a response from a fellow reader. I have never before been a pornographer, and it’s a strange feeling. This is actually much scarier to me than my initial reaction to the photo.

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    • Yes, absolutely, on the exchange aspect of the fantasy. It’s not that I couldn’t have a fantasy about just going in there, untying him, giving him a drink, and sending him on his merry way (and I do have “care” fantasies about John Porter in relationship to other images I have seen of him), but the bound nature of the figure here immediately sets all the power thermometers jiggling.

      I’ve become a pornographer now, too.

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      • It’s hard for me to separate Porter from Armitage-as-Porter when I consider these images. He’s such a giving performer, and his body is so pliant, and I know that he has subjected himself to this sort of thing at other times and for other characters. How far could he go in service of a role?

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        • It doesn’t help to know that he was waterboarded in preparation for the Lucas North role. That is what I was thinking of when you made your original comment that we know someone told Richard Armitage the actor to kneel and let his hands be tied.

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        • And I think another aspect that lends itself to what you’re saying is that this is obviously not a still from the series.

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  9. Very brave of you Servetus – I enjoyed reading your post and about your Porter fantasies.

    (I don’t think there’s anything wrong with erotic fantasies, part of our nature as human beings I think. The key for me is that they are fantasies and doesn’t mean I will start holding handsome men captive in my apartment. Well, if John Porter rang the doorbell…LOL)

    I think RA as Porter is a beautiful man (RA is a beautiful man in every way), the ideal male body. You add RA’s heartbreakingly beautiful face and his very male aura on screen…a lethal combination for most women. In my fantasies of Porter (though I tend to be partial to Lucas North more than Porter) I tend to be the rescuer or nurturer. I have that reaction when I watch any of the Strike Back episodes, and certainly Spooks, the desire to protect him (boy, do I need help!).

    They are stunning photographs, no question. I’m sure that the photographer, and indeed I’m sure RA himself, are aware of the power of the photos and the photographer/videographer is fully aware of the beauty of his body (the muscle definition under the T-shirt, the emphasis on those thighs!) and the emotions contained in each frame, and the pain and violence we feel from the photos and videos as well. The anger we feel from Porter also in the photos. For RA it probably was another way to explore the character of John Porter he himself confessed becoming so immersed in during filming.

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    • My Lucas fantasies are almost *all* about nurturing him. Lucas was the last Armitage character that I ever had a sex dream about — and it wasn’t till after the beginning of season 9. He was too vulnerable to allow my unconscious to go there until after I saw 9.1, at which point he suddenly seemed very grown up.

      I hope he enjoyed this shoot, too, but then again, I’m not sure what exactly I mean when I say that.

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  10. Interesting. Some serious S&M here, Servetus. who knew? I’m conflicted. My mind sees your post obliquly I can’t look straight at it. Afraid I’d just untie him, give him the guns, knives, explosives and let him take it from there. Hopefully, he would take me with him.

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    • The original title of this post was supposed to be “in which Servetus admits she was never a good girl.” Hope I haven’t smashed my own image irretrievably.

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      • not with me, you haven’t “smashed my own image.” It’s just that I like guys when they have their arms free. bondage of any sort gives me claustrophobia.

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  11. How I would love to know what went on in Richard’s head when he had to kneel and his hands were being tied. He said that he was so *in* the scene when Lucas tried to hang himself that when the director shouted “cut!” he thought he could really have done it. This is scary, of course. However, the SB scene isn’t that dangeous and so it makes me feel less bad when I speculate about his thoughts and reactions 😉

    Maybe it was just “Not again!” as he is tied and chained up so often in SB like in no other of his roles so far. 🙂

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    • He got tied up in RH a few times and it always made the ladies squee. So I think the phenomenon discussed here is not uncommon and probably used deliberately by directors. In spite of all it’s silliness and light-heartedness RH (especially series 2) had quite a strong adult subtext and I personally think that was part of the appeal.

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  12. Interesting to me how much the themes here have in common with issues of being a fangirl…the easy one is probably the idea of holding someone up as the object of your desire (and in a blogosphere public kind of way) without his consent and without allowing him any sort of control over the situation.

    But also, I think there’s the side of experiencing desire for someone held up (in general and especially in the RA blogging universe) as “almost too good to be true” (Talented! Gorgious! Modest! Kind! He even learns freaking Maiori for goodness sake…) and knowing our own human failings all too well. Part of being a fangirl is pushing at the interplay between the desirable and the unattainable. It almost seems like the literal bonds are your mind’s way of working out the “out of our league” issue–they’re what tether the fantasy JP to the fantasy Severtus–and in your stories when he’s free to go he doesn’t stay.

    Classic theme if you look at it that way–seems to me to have lots more in common with Pluto and Persephone (pomegranate = rope) or Beauty and the Beast (magic = rope) than the Marquis de Sade…

    Interesting to me, at any rate–YMMV 🙂

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  13. […] stunner comment from Lina. This merits a post of its own as soon as I have a chance. Was thinking about this all […]

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  14. […] like a metaphorical symbol of my own captivity to Armitage and/or Armitagemania. So writing about a fantasy in which I tease John Porter sexually or humiliate him or hold him captive is in some ways also a revenge fantasy. You won’t let go of me? Well, then just see what […]

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  15. […] week I admitted that I had some questionable fantasies about John Porter, and then I admitted that I had developed a certain kind of fantasy life around Richard Armitage […]

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  16. […] something more direct. I won’t write what I was thinking here, as I’ve talked about the kinds of fantasies Porter often triggers in me in the past. Let’s just say that I gave Porter some water, but that he spent a little more time on that […]

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  17. […] are always things about my fantasies that I have known are questionable to speak of in mixed company, and I wonder frequently how far I can go toward discussing them in this space. Every reader […]

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  18. […] as father, as wash and wear soldier-type, and infinitely reliable quick sex fantasy, as troubling victim — and there I’m linking only a few of the posts I’ve written about him. A Porter […]

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