Wednesday morning, T-3 days to the end of this job and counting


The alarm goes off. 6:30. Only six hours of sleep, not enough. What day is it again? Wednesday. Class at 11. Don’t care how unprepared I might be, reset alarm for 8:00 a.m.

8:00 a.m. Alarm goes off again. Ah, yes. Wednesday at 11, western civ. Indeed, today it’s Milton Friedman, Capitalism and Freedom. I don’t want to. Look, here’s the book, crumpled up under me where it fell when I was trying to read in bed late last night. Might have to get a new copy if I ever teach this one again. Someone on NPR is blathering on about discrepancies in the narrative of how Osama bin Laden was killed. I can’t bear to think about it. It’s way too early in the morning for ethical dilemmas. Wish radio volume was lower, hit snooze button, worry I won’t hear it when it goes off.

I roll over, thinking that I should start rehearsing the arguments of the book in my mind so I can represent them fairly to the students, but first, if I want to have a chance at staying awake, it’s time to pay some attention to my lover, the fantasy John Porter. Time for him to pay some attention to me.

Richard Armitage as a sleeping John Porter in Strike Back 1.3. Source:

He’s lying on his side in the fetal position. I squeeze up to his back and nuzzle my face into the back of his neck, kissing his shoulder. Mmmm. He smells so good. I reach my arm across his abdomen and pull myself closer to him. Mmmm. He feels so good.

“What’s on today, love?” he mumbles as he turns toward me, cradling my rather tousled hair against his chest and kissing the top of my head.

“Last discussion day in western civ,” I whisper into his chest as I wrap my leg around him for good measure. “Milton Friedman. Chicago School. Capitalism and Freedom. Written toward the beginning of the 1960s. Refutation of Keynes and affiliated mixed economy advocates. Argues that any government incursion into regulation of markets is not only inefficient in providing economic goods, it also inevitably restricts political freedoms. Comes out against medical licensing, railroad monopolies, most permutations of public education beyond elementary school, and prescriptive measures to address racial inequality.” I pause, as I’m gaining both momentum and a degree of alertness. “Humans are rational agents who will act to redress political and social inequities because these interfere with efficient market processes. Strong on pointing out the coercive potential of the state as it developed in the West and the ways in which its representative institutions necessarily became the instruments of the thought police. Weak on its consideration of the ways in which markets act coercively in the absence of forces to prevent collusion, and doesn’t seem to take seriously the problem of the sort of power markets gain as the problems of social life on earth erode the boundaries of the nation-state. Seminal for rational expectations theory–”

“Hey, hey, hey, smart girl, I’m not in the class,” he chuckles. “Do you think it would be rational for me to expect a little action now?”

“Mmmmm,” I say, even more awake now, and press my leg a little more closely as my hand begins to wander south from his chest. “Even half awake, you’re ever the wit! Can I just tell you the part about the velocity–”

“Yes, ma’am, increasing the velocity, professor,” he replies, and turns to press me into the mattress as he kisses me softly but deeply. The stubble on his face intensifies the potency of the kiss. When he looks up for a second from my lips, I brush his fallen bangs back over his forehead, and the intense look we share melts us both to the core. His lovemaking is slow and tender and insistent, leaving no nerve on my skin unawakened, appropriate for the hazy, sluggish energy of a morning that’s arrived before I’ve had enough sleep. And what’s best about is that whenever John Porter does something I really like, I can repeat it, dozens of times if I like. I can repeat the long strokes of his massive hands down my sides, until the image loses its potency, from every visual perspective of my imagination, looking at him, looking at myself, as he does it again and again, always at my will. I can let my body relax, move in response to the fantasy; I can breathe more deeply, feel more fully. Every way he touches me makes me more alert, more alive.

The John Porter in my mind finishes with the gentlest of caresses as he separates our bodies. My copy of Capitalism and Freedom is even more crumpled now, my hair slightly more tangled. But I’m awake and ready to face the day.

Now. No time for a languorous shower with him if I want to reread the first few chapters before class, but what do you think he’d like for breakfast? Full English, anyone?

~ by Servetus on May 5, 2011.

31 Responses to “Wednesday morning, T-3 days to the end of this job and counting”

  1. Yummmmmmmmmm. Just Yummmmmmmmm. But does Layla know about this? ๐Ÿ˜‰


    • One reason that Truce appealed so much is that I have significant resemblances to Layla ๐Ÿ™‚


      • Ah hahhhhhh. Well, you must have been VERY happy with some of those scenes. ๐Ÿ˜€


        • I don’t look anything like Jodhi May. However, I am a woman in a man’s job, a bossy older sister, alternatively confident and insecure, and smarter than most of the men I meet and despairing of finding a strong, masculine guy who can deal with a smart woman and who is in search of what I have to give, which is a lot of what Layla has to give in Truce: intelligence, intensity, industry, conviction, tenderness.


          • That’s what I was thinking you meant–certain parallels with your own life and personality. I really came to love and appreciate Layla as I wrote “Truce.” I felt she had so many admirable qualities.

            And I loved that she loved and believed in John so much and that he respected and appreciated her intelligence and competence but also recognized the sensual creature underneath the no-nonsense exterior ๐Ÿ™‚


            • Yeah, she just needed some regular reminders about the sensual piece ๐Ÿ™‚


              • And John was always so ready, willing and able to help her with that. ๐Ÿ˜‰


                • Which probably made her more and more forgetful, so she needed more and more reinforcement ๐Ÿ™‚


                  • And I would definitely term it positive reinforcement when it comes to being assisted in such a matter by a sexy fellow like Porter.


  2. Mmmmnnn indeed. And who doesn’t have such fantasies? Becoming fonder of Porter all the time. A good, mature role for an actor in his prime. Or entering his prime.

    Lovely break from all the daily problems; the week’s global events; this week’s good-and-bad news fed. election; and just solving this week’s RL problems.

    Friedman – who he? (no need for reply – I have vaguely heard of him.

    Full nglish brekkie? Eggs, bacon, sausage, baked beans, U.S. hash-browns, fried bread? Maybe once every ten years…:D Or 20. Hold the fried bread.


    • Well, it’s a fantasy, so we can eat whatever we want. My cupboard was actual bare; I ate a breakfast taco at the student cafeteria and got a coffee to go in real life.


  3. Mmmm, they didn’t teach us this kind of mnemonics in law school. ๐Ÿ˜‰


    • Too bad, huh?

      Actually, explaining something in brief to someone you care about but is outside the topic is great way to test knowledge ๐Ÿ™‚


  4. OMG three days – I guess two now! Can’t read your post just now, off to bed, back on Friday! (long day tomorrow…!)

    I believe congrats are in order though?


  5. What a wonderful way to wake up and rehears the topics ahead. I must remember that John Porter is such a wonderful test audience the next time I have to hold a speech ;o)


    • he’s very smart, but he never takes his eyes off the main thing ๐Ÿ™‚


      • Oh, I do not think I can manage my speech rehearsal then. I would not get a word out, at least not in any sensible order ;o)
        How brave of you to manage to stay on the topic ahead!


  6. It just got very hot in here ๐Ÿ™‚


  7. I was in stitches, laughing and enjoying this! What a way to wake up in the morning…..That’s the girl!


  8. I think I stopped breathing while I read this but once I’d recovered, the first words that came to mind were, “What bliss”!! John Porter – you lovely man!! Now THAT would sure set a girl up for the day . . . . . .or longer!


  9. The picture of him (GUY) in profile I love is where he is lying on his back agonizing over killing marian. The pulse in his neck arteries give me instant orgasim. Why don’t you make a story about changing his mood, Servetus?


  10. […] without setting off the building alarms; I’ve massaged your shoulders while you were grading; I made to love to you to get you to stop obsessing about your lectures; and that day we showered together, you […]


  11. […] as figure of the search for vindication, as worker-out of trauma, as cheerleader, as father, as wash and wear soldier-type, and infinitely reliable quick sex fantasy, as troubling victim — and there I’m linking […]


  12. […] escape fantasy. He’d break into a faculty meeting, for instance, and get me out of there. He got me through the last days of teaching. He got me through a move. And a few other things I’m too lazy to link just […]


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