Another long day driving

Mr. Thornton (Richard Armitage) contemplates his past while on his way to visit Nicholas Higgins in episode 4 of North & South. Source:

All of Sylvester, twice. It’s just so good, Richard Armitage is just so good. Posting on this, and why, soon. The Smiths. Le vent du nord. Lisztomania. Two nights of tossing and turning. Bits of sobbing. Humidity. Bugs I don’t recognize. Bizarre drivers. Can it really rain that hard without hailing? I’m here. Is this the right thing? G-d only knows. Tomorrow’s going to have to be enough time to figure out what’s going on on Monday.

I’ve seen this video so many times now I can practically replay it in my head. I refrain from doing this while driving. But I also now know the Ke$ha album practically by heart. A little ashamed of this. But it’s easier to make time while driving when the drums I listen to on the car stereo aren’t real.

More than a little ashamed that I need a fantasy man in the passenger seat to keep my foot on the gas. BUT. First of all, these fantasies do not fade — they continue to have power, they continue to motivate. I keep thinking sometime this has to stop, SOMETIME the pictures of Mr. Armitage in my brain are going to lose their energy. One day I’ll wake up and not be preoccupied. Instead, they get stronger. And as long as they stay strong, they work. ALSO. Thinking about being able to blog this week about Armitage stuff on my mind = lifesaver. Thinking there’s an outside of this particular world, set of problems, etc. I’m letting myself keep this thing for myself even as I rationally note the impossibilities, the sheer ridiculousness.

Trying not to be afraid, trying not to be sad, trying to see what’s about to happen as a gift, even if it’s one with a meaning that I don’t really understand.

Time for sleep.

~ by Servetus on August 7, 2011.

15 Responses to “Another long day driving”

  1. Best wishes for your new chapter. Deep breaths.

    Pop music can be reassuring, providing a needed zap of energy.

    Have you heard the PS 22 cover of Lisztomania? Good stuff.


  2. Hi, my name is Angie and I also own a Ke$ha album. And have made two videos to her songs. It happens.

    Servetus, I am glad you had the soothing dulcet tones of Mr. A to accompany you on the road. Surely there are far worse things–and worse people–to mull over than the lovely, talented and endearing Mr. A. He appears to be a sort of lifeline for so many of us.

    I am concerned about you and and wishing I was there to give you a big hug. I am really good at that, you know. Be safe. Know you are loved.


  3. I read this yesterday …

    Having abandoned my search for the truth, I’m now looking for a good fantasy.

    Take care!


  4. Dearest Servetus, please keep up the good fight for your splendid interior life! We all cheer for you every day that we read your blog (understandably, your conscious ego demands soapbox time to object…)

    What you are able to observe and beautifully articulate in your active imagination with Mr. A is truly astonishing. Dr. Jung would be proud … and might tell you that this unbelievable energy, these messengers of the creative unconscious are each and all Divine gifts to be cherished, which I believe you mightily already do (and so do we).

    By the way, I am in TX this weekend… holy Crikey, if I thought the Midwest was bad, it is NOTHING compared to this TX heat! Egads, how did you stand it? Just kidding everyone!

    I return to London on Wednesday so I promise to troll the bookshops at Heathrow to see if any of them carry Recognize magazine!

    Stay safe, feed your spirit plenty of RA, and know that as virtual as we are, our energy and concern for you are very real.


  5. The inner life fuels the outer. Creativity begins from within…keep on truckin’.

    And please don’t “Blame Canada” for le vent du nord 😀

    Cheers, servetus!


  6. I am glad, that you have a lovely companion with you on your journey. I was a bit worried about you alone on that long trip, but with RA accompanying you and keeping you safe, I am much less worried now.
    I hope he helps you into a good start there as well and you found a lovely and pleasant surrounding! I keep you in my mind and hope all turns out well for you!


  7. So relieved to hear you made it with your soul more or less intact — driving in hard rain can lead to despair in my case, anyway. One more time starting over in a new place and with new people…oh, my thoughts are with you.


  8. Christopher Robin to Pooh: “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” — A. A. Milne

    I was listening to Venetia in the car yesterday to calm myself down before and after my shoot. I love the audio work, it is prob some of my favorite work of his. With an added bonus … It is also very soothing.

    There is nothing wrong with a bit of pop music to clear “the mean reds” from your mind.


  9. Glad to hear you’ve arrived safely. Remember, it’s going to be okay. Stay strong.


  10. Hold on, Servetus….you’ll be fine.

    We’re all with you! In our hearts and thoughts.
    (…..I’m afraid you don’t have enough space in the backseat of your car for all of us! -Even though I wouldn’t mind to sit on Richard’s lap 😉 …..)

    Much love


  11. As the others have already said – we’re all thinking about you. So as we cannot be with you in person we are at least with you in mind and you’re not alone.
    I’m sure that you will feel better once you get used to the new place and the new people. For now let RA and all the characters he has created support you in every possible way 🙂
    Liebe Gruesse aus Deutschland


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