Current Richard Armitage fantasy interludes [no sex]

[ETA: notice of tweet courtesy of Ana Cris.]

No matter who you really are, or what you’re really like, a tweeted pic of you can still rescue an hour, an afternoon, even a day at the moment. And yeah, if it’s a pic with a kid, that’s even sweeter. The way these bearded pics show up at especially auspicious moments, I should be investing more stock in synchronicity. They’re a touchstone for all my ideas about you and everything I need to believe.

I have two main recurring fantasies about you at the moment.

I’ve been listening heavily lately to several groups that do sort of updated eighties dance music. (Along with eighties dance music, in particular Pet Shop Boys and Depeche Mode.) Especially Hot Chip and Tanlines — both recommended by dooce, who’s experiencing her own trauma at the moment. I am such a walking stereotype. So this stuff is playing in the back of my mind a lot. I realize that all of this music is probably more mainstream than the stuff you like to dance to.

But it’s melodic, and it’s got messages I like, and particularly the song above provokes an image of you. Something about that three-against-two rhythm just makes me think of dancing. I see you standing in a crowd of people, holding a glass in your hand while listening to the group, I see you shaking your head and shoulders and hips, I see you breaking off into a smaller group to dance, and as the fantasy continues, I see you spreading out your arms and making space for yourself on the dance floor, I see you spinning, I see you completely losing yourself in the dance, I see you gradually reintegrating into a mass of people who are all grooving, moving up in down, in rough time with each other. I see an enigmatic smile on your face, an occasional smirk, a word or two to the people around you, I see you closing your eyes in pleasure, shaking your head in enjoyment. And watching you, I feel your pleasure in the beat and in the loss of self.

I don’t have to be listening to the music to have the fantasy. Whether I’m writing, or talking to someone, or cleaning or cooking, or listening, or watching TV, or whatever, the strains of the music waft through my brain and I can see you at the corner of my field of vision, dancing. I can see you as long as I concentrate on whatever I’m doing and don’t look directly at you — the second I give into the impulse to stare at you, you’re gone.

I’ve written before about what the fantasy of you dancing could mean to me, particularly its function as a destabilizer of my position as observer. Here, it’s something about pleasure. If you’re some version of my fantasy of self, dancing just on the margins of my glances, you’re still there, you’ll still be there, when all this evaporates. I can count on you to come back. And maybe, my fantasy hopes, one day I’ll look at you, accidentally, just a little too long and you’ll shimmy your way over to me, extending your arms, and holding out your hands.

The other fantasy is the one that keeps on occuring in the middle of the night, when I wake up because of niece noise or some piece of wildlife slamming into the basement window or thunder and lightning. It’s so simple. I’m startled awake and realize I’m curled into the tiniest ball I can make myself into, in the double bed I’ve been sleeping in. I’m not completely awakened, and I feel this warmth against my back and I know it’s you, that you’re curled all around me closer than I could snuggle in any blanket. Sometimes your lips brush the nape of my neck, or your beard scrapes my shoulders, but you growl, deeply, before holding onto me even tighter.

And I feel so safe; I’m convinced you won’t let me go.

~ by Servetus on June 30, 2012.

8 Responses to “Current Richard Armitage fantasy interludes [no sex]”

  1. There’s something about photos of him with children that particularly make me melt. The one on the red carpet where he’s posing for a pic with that little girl. He looks so handsome and so sweet. It always makes me smile.

    To see him dance and in such a way–that would be wonderful.

    Like

  2. Thanks for the link servetus, the photo made me smile, made my day.
    I hope these candid pics continue to trickle out every so often. I need them to stay sane until Comic-Con as I’m finding it quite difficult to keep a lid on my excitement. 😀

    As for seeing him dance, in any way…I can’t begin to describe how that would make me feel.

    Like

  3. The Argentine tango is his best dance?? Be still, my beating heart!

    Like

    • that’s pretty much what the reporter who asked that question said in response to the answer, too.

      Like

  4. YAY!!! Wonderful photo thank You 🙂

    Like

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