The pleasures of Armitage / Thorin beardy kiss fantasy

[This is not part of the “barbatus” series, but I can’t resist. Best wishes to Richard Armitage and all of the cast and crew for The Hobbit as they celebrate the end of principal photography!]

***

Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield, publicity still from Entertainment Weekly tablet edition, July 13, 2012. Source: RichardArmitageNet.com

***

Someone called this a “Thorin glamor shot.” And how. This is the first picture I’ve seen that’s specifically made me want to kiss Thorin. I’ve loved Richard Armitage’s beard, and wanted to feel its scrape against my cheek for some time, but this is the first image that pushed me into real Thorin lust. (It may not have hurt that it appeared during a horrible week, of course.) I’ve been able to look off and on at the picture while doing other things and enjoyed the pleasure of turning the possible reasons why over — and over — and over. Contemplating a fantasy kiss.

[I’ve been trying, since I saw it, to read paranoia into this picture somehow, but I can’t. Sorry, Mr. Armitage.]

This picture — which has also doubtless been played with by the graphic artists — works on so many levels for me. First, the tones. The surrounding color makes Armitage’s blue-grey eyes look almost dull gray-dirty copper metallic. That makes Armitage’s already magnetic stare positively arresting — I can’t take my eyes away from him. He’s very serious — but do I still see a trace of that mischief in his glance, particularly in the left eye? And a little hint of experience in the almost invisible eye lines? The warmth also makes his skin look sultry, and this is a slightly unusual effect for him — usually we’re being enticed into wanting to caress the pale coldness of his complexion against darkened hair (Lucas) or else appealed to with his pale rosiness against brown hair (Lee or John Standring). Here, he almost looks tan. Secondly, the hair. Tangles I want to thread my fingers through on the way to grasping the back of his neck, and the discreet placing of the roots just over his natural hairline to give him widow’s peaks, which enhance the impression of a strategic intelligence engendered by his eyes. Third, the side-lighting, which highlights the fascinating minor asymmetries of the face, especially the very imposing left eyebrow and the here almost flat left cheek. It also makes us aware of the buildup of the nose without making it look ridiculous, thus drawing attention to the marked, regal features. Fourth, the lips: thin, and potentially cruel, or at least decisive, but also gently placed together — tenacious but also sensitive? Proud but vulnerable? Sixth, the angle of the head — appraising, but positioned as if perhaps to give a slight, grudging or acknowledging nod in the next frame. (One thing I love to ask about pictures of Armitage is what he’ll look like in the second after the photo, and this photo is particularly pregnant in that regard. There’s a stillness in the picture, but also a tension that suggests that his glance or his lips could move at any second.) Seventh, the beard: it enhances the forward structure of his chin, making him look strong, but also does it with superficially soft-looking fur that makes him look approachable. It elongates an already long jaw — we’ve talked before about the emotional and sensual qualities of the Mannerist moments in Armitage’s body. Mmmmmm. Finally, the neck — the little fold of his throat peeking out from his shirt, a tiny moment of vulnerability. And, although it’s not a feature that makes me want him to kiss me specifically, we should note the position of the hand and messages it sends to the viewer about power and energy.

***

So how would this play out? This has to be a seated kiss, as I’m so much taller than Thorin. And I’m not going to give this any plot. It’s just a kiss. I’m pretending I’m sitting on my parents living room sofa. Don’t ask me why Thorin would ever find himself sitting there. It’s just a fantasy.

***

You look over at me with that insistent stare, the one with just a little challenge hidden in the corner of your eyes, and you cock your head back a bit and raise your chin. As it comes up, I thread my right arm into your hair, just behind your ears, grasping the nape of your neck, and pull you toward me. Your eyes stay open, now glinting with a bit of amusement, but you keep your mouth closed as I brush my lips down your jawline and feel the bristles. I nibble just a little at the left side of your mustache, my face now very close to yours, as I attempt to look up to gauge your reaction. Now your eyes are closed. I breathe in, timing my breath to yours, and rub my nose up at the corner of yours before moving my upper lip against your mustache and tracing the tip of my tongue, every so slowly, along the margin of your top lip. I hear a growl and laugh a bit inside as my tongue moves on to your lower lip, and suddenly one of your hands comes up against my side and the other to my neck, and you lean in, opening your mouth and crushing your beard right into my lips and chin as your tongue moves deeply, forcefully into my mouth. I hear my throat make sounds I can’t understand as your scent overwhelms me and your tongue probes deeper. When I break off for breath, your lips and your beard brush against my cheek, and then my jaw, and the soft space underneath, and my temple, as your hot breath floods into my ear. My other hand nestles into the beard on your jaw and I pull your lips back to my mouth, aching to feel that bristly scrape against my lip and chin again. I tilt my head so my lips scrape against the top of your goatee as I push in for a renewed taste of your mouth. As you increase the rhythm of our tongues against each other, your beard sensitizes my face so that every stroke of it against my nerves feels like a long, slow, intense scream of pleasure that settles somewhere near my ear drums first, and then travels lower.

You raise your head, and look at me, a slight smile playing over the earlier challenge on your lips. “Does my beard make you squirm?” you ask, as you move your lips back to mine, and my skin prickles, ready for another brush with intense sensation.

***

(Obviously, ymmv. Experience suggests that Thorin’s beard is certainly more crinkly and less soft than it looks in photos. Servetus loves the scratch and scrape and doesn’t mind putting a little soothing lotion on around her mouth and lips afterwards as necessary. And bussing through a beard is usually much less abrasive to the female face than smooching around stubble. However, if you like the look, but you’re worried about the rug burn: the experienced beard-grower who wants to be kissing the gentler sex’s softer skin conditions his beard with hair conditioner when he washes his hair; doing so regularly will gradually soften the beard hairs. Especially wiry beards may be helped further by the application of beard oils or butters made for this purpose.)

~ by Servetus on July 7, 2012.

42 Responses to “The pleasures of Armitage / Thorin beardy kiss fantasy”

  1. I’ve printed this photo off and have it pinned up at the computer desk as I read-love your explanation of how the picture works for you and understand completely!
    IMO it really is quite a different look to this early one, where he looked like a Klingon according to some:
    http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Hobbit/HobbitStills/album/slides/10-Thorin.html
    Naturally the pic will come down when the family comes home (sshhh, no telling 😉 ) but in the meantime I keep coming back to gaze at this beautiful dwarf. Thorin lust? You bet!

    Like

    • I should add, that even though I say “beautiful dwarf,” in my mind he is 6’2″! I figure that will change once I see more footage of him with comparatively taller characters. 🙂

      Like

      • yeah, even in the standing pictures he somehow manages to look of normal height.

        I’ll have to write about those boots, soon. May do so if I get bored after Comic-Con.

        Like

    • Alright, I take it back! He doesn’t look like a Klingon, just the sexiest dwarf I’ve ever seen! 🙂

      Like

  2. Whilst I wouldn’t throw this Thorin out of bed if I happened to find him there, this is the first shot that really doesn’t look like RA to me ( which probably delights him but leaves me feeling a bit unsettled). As I initially scrolled down the post I didn’t even realise it was RA – it looked like a young Alan rickman ( which is not such a bad thing except that RA is so beautiful he doesn’t need to be digitally enhanced)

    Wishing you and yours well servetus

    Bolly x

    Like

    • Thanks for the good wishes, Bollyknickers.

      Interesting — this is the one that has looked most like him, to me. But yeah, I agree, he is probably happiest if he doesn’t recognize himself.

      Like

      • I think this looks more like him than any other pic of Thorin, naturally, this are his own features, with only the eyebrows enhanced. Maybe this is a pic of young Thorin and younger dwarves have more refined features, like Kili and Fili, and only become dwarvish as they mature. I hope so, otherwise it would be a serious continuity error if he sometimes has prosthetics and sometimes not. And I’m afraid, continuity is more important than hotness.

        Like

  3. I actually think this looks much more like him than the “Klingon” shot. It’s the eyes that always get me, that draw me in. I love this photo and yes, Servetus, I’ve spent a lot of time playing with this image in photo editing. He’s absolulely gorgeous. And he probably would be happy with Bollyknicker’s assessment it doesn’t look like him. 😉

    I love your analysis of the photo and your beardy kiss fantasy. The first time my husband kissed me was sitting on my parent’s couch while we talked about Australis . . . so I am found of couch kisses (and Australia). 😉

    Like

  4. I call this the ‘Miami Vice’ picture. I adore the tan (with freckles), the blonde highlights in his wavy hair They eyes pop out, not ice cold, but filled with sunlight. I agree that there’s something Klingon in this image. As I’ve always found Worf of STNG sexy, this image works, whichever way I look at it! He looks like he smells of the woods, firesmoke, and leather. May the heavens save us, if this sexy Throin theme continues 😉

    Like

  5. It’s just gone 9-30pm Saturday night in NZ and I guess the wrap party is in full swing by now. I find my thoughts constantly turning to Richard, hoping he’s enjoying himself and wondering how he’s feeling about the end of principal photography.

    Like

    • I hope they had a good time. If he’s sad I hope he can can console himself with the probability that they will eventually do pickups.

      Like

  6. Having said that, it looks much more like him on the big computer screen than it did on my phone.

    On the big screen it has taken my breath away..

    Like

  7. It looks like his nose in the pic the other pics look like a prosthetic nose. How’s a girl supposed to have a productive day after this?

    Like

    • I know, right? While I was doing this and that I kept coming back to my computer screen till my mom said, is something going on?

      Like

  8. Glad to read you’ve joined the Thorin lust. Nice fantasy but ouchie ouchie.

    Like

  9. *sigh* that man is just gorgeous

    Like

    • and how. that braid, too. I should have said something about that — the sort of gender bending it brings to the character.

      Like

  10. I wonder if RA’s portrayal of Thorin will overshadow all the other characters in this movie, the way his characters have done in other productions (which I don’t think is a conscious effort). It’s going to be interesting to see how things play out with him in a major production.

    Like

    • I know — I am really curious.

      Like

    • I don’t think so. Not if the other actors are on par and their characters are well written. On the sexiness front perhaps. But I think we are supposed to love Bombur and Ori as well and drool over Bard and Legolas.

      Like

      • If the pictures we’ve seen of Thorin are any indication (i.e. this one and the wet shirt photo in particular), I think there’s going to be a lot of drooling over Thorin as well. I’m not a Tolkein fan so I’m not sure who Bard is, but I never could understand why anybody would droole over Legolas. One of the reasons I find RA so attractive is because he’s more “mature” than actors like Orlando Bloom who seem like school boys compared to him. Peter Jackson said Thorin would give Leggie and Aragon a run for their money in the heartthrob stakes. Looks like he’s accomplished that by casting RA.

        Like

        • Orlando Bloom always looked like a teenager to me. I don’t mind the boyish Armitage look but I love the mature one.

          Like

  11. He’s got too much hair….and yet i so want him. lol

    I should be at that wrap party with him.

    Like

  12. I have to say that “kiss” wasn’t my first thought. I mean, I couldn’t even breathe. I was at office and it wasn’t a good time for spontaneous combustion 🙂 But, how avoid that?
    I’m glad that the beard finally it’s getting the recognition that deserves.

    Like

    • the picture needs a warning label: this picture could be dangerous to coworkers of people with Armitagemania …

      Like

  13. I love this photo too, although when I first saw it I could hardly believe it was RA…or Thorin, either. It’s lovely, but it doesn’t look very much like him. The best thing about it is that many new people are now seeing the attractiveness of Thorin, and that makes me happy.

    Like

    • Indeed re: new people seeing the attractiveness. TORn, after the Hobbit fans complained about the “hot dwarfs” had a FB poll this week asking which dwarf was the hottest. Last time I looked Armitage was winning by a mile.

      Like

  14. The varying reactions to this picture show how we all see things so differently. I’ve been surprised by the comments that it doesn’t really look like RA. I see him so clearly in this picture (even with the 80s rocker hair and beard).

    That fantasy kiss is really lovely, Servetus. It would have to be a “couch kiss” for me as well, since Thorin is so short. Love the beard care guide at the end! Such useful information. 😉

    Like

  15. Without the eyes I wouldn’t recognise him. Awww.

    Like

  16. This picture really packs a punch. I have been overcome with Dwarf Desire and can totally understand your kiss fantasy of Thorin.

    Like

  17. […] like everyone else, I’m succumbing to serious Dwarf Desire and dying to possess one of […]

    Like

  18. […] I have to concede that against my usual inclinations, initially my interest in Thorin was very heavily a look question for me, as tracing my growing interest in the role by paging through the blog reveals. I find this embarrassing, as I was initially extremely hostile to what I saw as a stupid debate over Armitage’s good looks as an obstacle to his performance, to the point of writing the only post I ever retracted. So yeah — I probably felt not only targeted — but culpable in that sense. Frustration even lent itself to persiflage a few weeks later. (That post, I think, is one of the funnier things I’ve written. I can still laugh while reading it even now, which doesn’t happen that often.) Yes: Armitage cantans — the voice got me above all else when I saw the trailer. But tracing back my posts on the topic, I found myself attracted first to the beard and hair, and then eventually found myself succumbing to dwarf desire. […]

    Like

  19. […] Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, as I’ve noted, for example, with Dean O’Gorman. Still, my dwarf desire is still basically Thorin-centric, and I there are a few dwarves that I’ve not developed any interest in at all. Aidan Turner / […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

 
%d bloggers like this: