OT: Desires

Mary Chapin Carpenter sings “Passionate Kisses”

  • I want it to be okay for me to say “I want.”
  • I want to get enough sleep every night, not too little and not too much.
  • I want to wake up free from crushing feelings of guilt.
  • I want to stop hating myself for the past.
  • I want to stop being unreasonably afraid of things that I end up avoiding for no good reason.
  • I want to be fed / feed myself regularly with things that interest me, inspire me, intrigue me, move me.
  • I want to love G-d.
  • I want to create and experience flow in creating.
  • I want to grow in wisdom and understanding.
  • I want all the pieces of me to fit together — or learn to live with the fact that they don’t / can’t.
  • I want to be as kind and generous as my emotional and material means allow.
  • I want to be aware of my emotions while controlling my responses to them.
  • I want to be proud of what I do instead of ashamed.
  • I want to affect the world in a positive way.
  • I don’t want to waste any more time.

~ by Servetus on September 9, 2012.

10 Responses to “OT: Desires”

  1. Those are all good goals. On the pieces fitting together, I don’t think they do for anyone ever.

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  2. Hallelujah! and tell me, friend: why is it so hard for women to articulate their desires? Why is it so hard to feel okay with doing so?

    Working on ceasing to hate myself for the past….

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    • You might know better than I, since you know more about women. I know that for years and years I felt like it was a sign of self-indulgence to say what I wanted, and even now I am struggling with it.

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  3. All good things to want. Good things to need, actually. There’s no reason to feel any guilt about any of this. Guilt just gets in the way of being accountable for yourself, which in your case, is a rather remarkable person.

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    • Thanks. Guilt does feel like a dodge. I dont’ want to wake up in how ever many years and say, I didn’t do that because I felt guilty. I want to have actual reasons.

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  4. Guilt is so often a misplaced emotion. I think those who really should feel guilty due to wrongdoing rarely experience it, yet it’s ALWAYS a controlling background voice for so many of us trying to balance getting what we need and want with what we think we should provide others–The fear of being selfish. Coupled with the fear of being “less” than we think we should be, it’s stifling. Being happily imperfect and forgiving of ourselves as well as others is to me the loftiest human goal. (When I figure out the secret you’ll be the first to know. 🙂 )

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    • LOL, simplegirl, I’m sure that’s true. My guilt is much bigger than my failings. Which is why even guilt feels self-indulgent …

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  5. Simplegirl, that’s a great thought: “Being happily imperfect and forgiving of ourselves as well as others is to me the loftiest human goal.”

    I think we sometimes beat ourselves up so for all our shortcomings and it really doesn’t move us forward–at least I know I do. As Leigh said, guilt does get in the way of being accountable. And you are indeed a rather remarkable person, Servetus.

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