Learning love, loving first

My go to Valentine’s Day video — Mr. Armitage’s various characters talk about love, while Servetus talks about grammar:


So, Valentine’s Day — the day for the celebration of romantic love? Or the suffering through of it? (smile) The roses, the gifts, the dinners — and uch, the commercialization of same. The pressing of too-sweet chocolate or indigestible little hearts on our neighbors. Whether we love it or hate it, we can’t get away.

Love is everywhere.

I’ve written a lot about love this year. About the kind of person I hope Richard Armitage falls in love with, if he’s so inclined. About the people who love us. About what romantic desire of Armitage does for me, even though I am not in a relationship with him or anyone else. I’ve probably written more about love this year than ever — which is weird, insofar as I am not much of a romantic.

Watching Richard Armitage’s characters gave me a sort of new confidence about the possibility that men could be gentle. What looking over the last year of blogging seems to suggest is that maybe his work is also teaching me about the possibility that I can love.

This year, someone I knew years ago and whom I really respect said, if you want to live in a world where you can walk down the street hand in hand with your partner, then put your hand in your partner’s hand while you are walking down the street: and voilà — you will be living in that world. We have to be the change we seek, and it’s not easy.

But if we want a more loving world, we have to love, and we have to look for the things that let us do that. So my thought for today: let’s not wait for love. Let’s just love in advance, first, foremost, ahead of the game.

Let’s fill up our lungs with joy — before it seems prudent, before it seems wise, before it seems safe.

If we want to live in a world full of love — then — let’s, well, let’s — love.

~ by Servetus on February 14, 2013.

17 Responses to “Learning love, loving first”

  1. I like the idea of self determination…that the power to change is within me – it is only something that I am just now coming to terms with too. (now on the subject of Valentine’s Day – I’m not sure what my hubby is up to, but since there was a $50 charge to ProFlowers on the credit card statement this week, there better be a floral arrangement – or better yet, chocolate dipped strawberries -coming my way, or he’s got some ‘splaining to do! LOL – after 15 years I guess he figures why bother with covert operations 🙂 )


    • I think there’s a certain amount of difficulty, too, in realizing that you could have changed things earlier if you had only realized. I struggle with that.


      • I know what you mean.. I try to live not looking back, but I’m not always successful at leaving the past behind. Occupational hazard maybe?


  2. This is a lovely Valentine’s Day post filled with wisdom. It took me a while to realize that if I want to find my Mr. Right then I have to first have the qualities that I want in him in myself first. Enjoy your day! I think I will watch North & South later this evening to celebrate.


  3. I love–this video and post, among many other things.


  4. Valentines in Herzen, Lutscherchen, Becherchen mit den Erklärungen und der Putte mit dem dicken Hintern sind nicht in meinem Stil. Die Karten auch nicht so sehr, weil sie mir schlicht und infantil minderjährig assoziieren, und minderjährig bin ich schon längst nicht. Ich bedaure minder und bedauere mehr. Ich mag doch wirklich verschiedene Anlässe zelebrieren, weil man sich sogar über die kleinste Kleinigkeit freuen kann, die darin befestigt, dass das Leben schön ist. Banal, aber mit jedem Sinn erwünscht.
    Ich zünde meine beliebten aromatischen Kerzen an, schäle eine groβe Schale Orangen und Mandarinen, verbessere die Blumen, schaue auf die Rahmen mit den Fotos, trinke eine bittere Schokolade, die mir sowieso süβ scheinen wird. Vielleicht schreibe ich etwas, oder spiele… Sicher werde ich alte Briefe lesen, von denen ich ein Seidenbändchen abnehme. Es riecht wie sie. Das Aroma, das ich bis zum Ende meines Lebens lieben und daran mich erinnern werde. Die Zeit beginnt zurückzulaufen… Dann greife ich nach “Piano” von Jane Campion mit der wunderbaren Tonspur von Michael Nyman. Darauf habe ich heute Stimmung und Lust. Auf ein so klimatisches Sein in der vergangenen Welt mit dem wichtigen Akzent des Optimismus trotz alldem. Am späten Abend rede ich herzlich durch Skype mit meiner geduldigen und verständnisvollen Liebe, die weit mit dem Leib ist, aber mit dem Herzen und den Gedanken immer am nächsten. Der heutige Tag wie der Alltag, aber daran ist die mögliche Freude. Dies empfehle ich eben.
    In der orangen – mandarinen Stimmung (in der Valentinsstimmung auch) lächle ich dich an.


    • Es ist auch fair zu sagen, daß der ganze Tag eine einzige Marketingangelegenheit ist.

      Was überall in Deutschland zu dieser Jahreszeit zu kaufen gibt, was ich sehr vermisse: Blutorangen.

      Ich lächle zurück — klang wie ein guter Tag.


  5. Lovely sentiment and lovely video.


  6. Love the grammatical analysis…what a great excuse to stitch them all together and smile at the same time. 🙂 And so true! Here’s to loving and casting out fear. 🙂


    • Thanks. It’s been while since I’ve done any grammatical humor — it may be time. Here’s to loving and casting out fear.


  7. Oh, what a great video, Serv. Really liked it. Isn’t it amazing how many different things you can communicate with one word in its various grammatical shapes. In the hands (mouth?) of a master actor like Armitage this becomes a whole book of love… Not strange for a visual person like me that my favourite declaration is his eye-and-thumb-speak…
    As regards to love in our own lives. Yes, you are very right – we have to love ourself and ourselves if we want the world we live in to be one of love. That said, I will now go upstairs in my house and spread some love to the master ignorer of Valentine’s who has been grumpy with me all day *hahaha*.


    • Your post and video are both very sweet & thoughtful Valentines for Armitagew world. I especially like what you said here: Let’s fill up our lungs with joy — before it seems prudent, before it seems wise, before it seems safe.


      • Thanks, sloan.

        I wonder now, sometimes, what the alternative is. As I get better at loving I wonder how I got along without it before.


    • I also love the vowel he says, when he says “love” …

      I hope you got the master grump to give you at least a kiss 🙂


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