What kind of bicycle for Richard Armitage?

[At right, Richard Armitage photographed with a fan on Sunday, June 2, 2013, outside of Stone Street Studios in Wellington. Source: Facebook. I cropped the fan out because — while I’m grateful to see Mr. Armitage — I’m not sure that people really realize what they’re doing when they put their pics on the Internet like this.]

[I admit this is fluff, as I continue to thrash through harder things underneath.]

Well, we know that slightly-too-tight Belstaff jacket from 2010 is still around! I swear, that man must have a few pieces of luggage that carry only various leather jackets he owns. Not that I’m complaining.

Love you in leather, Mr. Armitage. Windswept hair and rosy cheeks? Fresh from a bike ride?

In the line of odd details I notice in interviews, last year in the press blitz for the premiere of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, in the course of a discussion about how he “protected” Thorin outside of filming, Richard Armitage stated parenthetically that he took a bicycle to work.

[Oh, and yes, for the slang fans among us: he said, “I used to cycle to work,” where a U.S.-ian would say “bike to work” or “ride my bike to work.” In writing this article I learned that in the UK, “On your bike!” is a way to say, “Get lost!” or “Shut up!” I also ran across a very impolite term for a promiscuous woman that I think I’ve only ever encountered on TV or in books. I was looking because I had this vague memory that there’s some other term for bike in the U.K. like “wheel,” but maybe that’s archaic, or maybe I’m confusing it with the German “Rad” for “Fahrrad.” Anyway, I couldn’t verify that one.]

So, yeah, back to the topic.

[At right: conventional men’s cycling pants — which definitely show off a powerful upper thigh.]

All of “my guys” have been devoted bikers. Not professionals, certainly, and definitely not to the point that they’d get involved with performance-enhancing drugs, but intense lovers of the bicycle and bicycle riding. I saw on FB yesterday that The Physicist had taken part in a hundred-mile bike race for charity and I remembered the days when he’d go on a really long ride and I’d end up having to drive somewhere to pick him up because he couldn’t fix a flat or something. Anyway, apart from when I was eight, I have only been a bicycle rider when I lived in Germany, where it was never practical for me to own a car, and where traffic in many cities is set up to be at least workable, and often hospitable or even more hospitable, for bikes than for autos.

Unfortunately, nowhere I’ve lived in the U.S. since 1998 has been remotely bike-friendly. But I have a soft spot for bicyclers. I love the build of the hips and thighs of a biker and the look of his tight biking pants; I love witnessing the contemplative tinkering with a bicycle (and talking to someone while he fixes mine. This was one of my favorite things to do with ex-SO — watch him fix bikes).

Richard Armitage has just the right build to look great in biking pants. And being a DIY guy, he’s probably a wonderful bicycle repairman.

We pause for a moment of wonderful British bicycle repairman humor. I’m sure Mr. Armitage knows this sketch.

(And come to think of it, maybe Mr. Armitage is Bicycle Repairman. There are certain similarities.)

In line with my ongoing musings about what kind of person Richard Armitage is, I’ve been wondering what kind of bike he has in Wellington. The sheer number of types of bikes is a bit fatiguing to consider, so I’ve limited my list to the major taxonomies I’ve encountered in my own limited experience.

1. The city bike or utility bike — a sturdy bike designed primarily for practical uses such as running short errands and managing short urban commutes. Unsophisticated in terms of technology, this type of bike sacrifices speed for seated comfort, stability for the rider, and durability, as well as ease of use / repair and protection of the rider. These bikes often lack gears or have less than five; are usually equipped with fenders to prevent mud spatters onto clothing; and have a basket in front and/or a luggage rack in back. Tires are neither as wide/knobby as the mountain bike tire nor as streamlined as the racing bike. Usually delivered with drum brakes. The rider sits in a very upright position. These are easy to pick up cheap from a newspaper ad. When I was doing my doctoral work, the going price for a used city bike you could expect to ride for two or three years was DM 100, and the first bike I had was of this type (albeit a ladies’ bike, without the crossbar).

Basic boring old city bike — Type “Hollandrad.” Stable, easy to ride, easy to fix, carries a lot.

Why I can imagine Richard Armitage riding this bike: Cheap to obtain, no huge pain if it’s lost or stolen or crashed, practical for many uses, especially if you also have a car in reserve (which we know he does), easy to get, easy to fix himself with a minimum toolkit, easy to shed when he leaves. The “wash and wear” bicycle.

2. The mountain bike / all-terrain bike. Mountain bikes can get very sophisticated, but their chief features are the very sturdy frame, wider wheels, knobby tires, often some suspension in the fork on the front wheel (called a hardtail) and sometimes under the seat (called a softtail) or both (dual suspension), and many gears, often fifteen or twenty-one, including especially low gears to facilitate climbing steep surfaces. The suspension makes for a smoother ride over long distances, as well as optimizing forward momentum on bumpy terrains. This type of bike usually has disc brakes nowadays. Wheels are slightly further apart to enhance stability.

When my first German bike, a city bike, died in an unfortunate crash with a car, the reimbursement payment from the insurance of the driver at fault went towards a very basic mountain bike that I bought in a warehouse of discontinued models at Zweirad Schlote in Göttingen. It has fifteen gears, I believe, and cost DM 600. I rode it for years whenever I was in Germany and right now it’s parked in my friend Josephine’s garage, waiting for me to get back to it.

A very basic mountainbike. Note suspension on the fork (above the front wheel).

Why I can imagine Richard Armitage riding this bike: Interviews about his activities in New Zealand suggest he likes spending time out of doors and in the country. A mountain bike is perfectly appropriate for a city commute and is even a bit more stable and better at encountering rough road terrain than the city bike. You run a slightly greater risk of getting splashed (usually, no fenders), but if you don’t mind that, it could be a great bike both for going to work and exploring the terrain in your free time. It’s also got the sort of boyish image that I associate with him. Could totally see Richard Armitage trying to pop a wheelie!

3. The road (racing) bike. The whole point of this kind of bike is speed, so everything about it is built to minimize weight and cut friction with the road and rider. Very thin tires to cut road friction. Low handlebars to help the rider keep his head down while riding. Wheels close together to allow the rider to steer around surprise obstacles quickly. The frame is made of the lightest material possible — nowadays, the fastest bikes are made of carbon — so often not as sturdy as that of the other bikes. It is also much stiffer so that the energy transfer from the biker’s action to the wheels is more efficient (as opposed to the flexible mountain bike, which tries to minimize jolts to the rider and keep the bike moving forward). Serious bikers even wear shoes that clip onto the pedals in order to make the energy transfer from biker to wheels more efficient. Usually a really good racing bike is not a very comfortable ride and very easy to tip over.

(Can you tell I haven’t liked my experiences with these?)

A basic men’s racing bike. When we were dating, The Physicist had a blue Trek bike. Ex-SO also has several racing bikes.

Why I can imagine Richard Armitage riding this bike: Speed! If he made any longer road-based bike trips in New Zealand, it would be fun to rush down a mountain on one of these — a less preparation-intensive alternative to skiing?

4. The recumbent bike. This is a specialist taste — people who love these really love them. They are said to be safer, in the sense that if you fall off of one, you’re less likely to fall head first, and you won’t fall very far. Also, they are ergonomically better for the body and more comfortable on back, neck, shoulders, and forearms. These also are the fastest bikes of all, because the rider isn’t tilting his chest right into the wind. I only ever tried one of these once, and I found it really hard to balance and I was scared cars would hit me because they wouldn’t see me. But I’m told people also love them because you have an easier time seeing the scenery while you’re riding.

Why I can imagine Richard Armitage riding this bike: I can’t, actually.

So here’s poll #1:

And then, because I don’t like to discuss bikes without referring to bike safety — the all important question — does Armitage ride with a helmet?

[I hope so, if he’s doing anything beyond the basic short commute on the city bike.]

~ by Servetus on June 4, 2013.