Emergency *ooof*: Check Mate

Right here, right now, Guylty is very happy. Armitage week continues: First a meeting with my Sista-in-RA Playazindaback/AwkwardCelebrityEncounters in London of all places, then hosting a RL friend who is also a RA-sista (with plenty of Richarding since her arrival on Friday) and now the surfacing of new pics. “Feels like heaven” deedeedeedum. If there is any measure of my fangirling, then this is a new benchmark. Because you see, at the time of writing I only got up half an hour before, at 7 am on a Sunday morning, because my cats wanted feeding. My intention had been to slip back between the covers immediately after, but I stupidly could not resist a peek at my phone – where notifications were overflowing from tumblr and wordpress. And what shall I say – I have been hit so unexpectedly, I am having trouble deciding whether this is real or whether I am still dreaming. Ok, Guylty, pull yourself together and get some coherent analysis together.

Swooning over Armitage at the BAFTA Tea Party LA event
Image by Kevin Winter/Getty
Via armitage-online.ru

Why the hell is Guylty picking this image to *ooof*? A shot from the side, not full length, not that close-up, *and* another person in it? Well, I am trying to maintain a soupcon of rationality here, and while I am simply floored by all of the images, most of all the close up/half-length ones, I still have to pick out a pic that I can find *something* to say about that is not just an expostulation of our favourite subjects damning good looks *lickslips*.

The Armitage strikes again. At an industry event Mr A has turned on the smoulder again. How does he do it? A spontaneous ovary-bursting stint, Armitage can pull it off without much effort. He just pops himself in front of the nasty advertising backdrop, angles his head, stares at the camera – and lets the hair length, the sneaky chest-hair peek and the hot gaze work for him. He just has to stand there…

Some people, and I can say that with authority, simply have got it, when it comes to being loved by the camera. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and even though I’ve seen it in action many times, I can not explain the phenomenon rationally. There are sitters in front of my (and any other photographers’) camera, who will look good in every single shot. Now, I obviously have not seen all 2000 shots that Ascroft took of RA, or Rayner, or Nearmy, or anyone who’s ever had the fortune of getting RA in front of their lens, and yet I venture to guess that he comes out well in almost all of them. Some of this elusive quality has got to do with confidence. And as a professional performer, Armitage of course has that self-confidence that allows him to put himself in front of a lens and patiently wait to be photographed. (That is where most of us mere mortals fall down – we are unnerved by the big black eye, embarrassed because posing goes against the modesty with which many of us have been brought up – “don’t fuss and don’t draw any attention to yourself – that’s unseemly”.) He let’s go of that because for him, posing for pictures is part of the business. For the time it takes to be photographed, that is what you need to do. You *need* to convince yourself, in your brain, that you are the hottest thing on earth, and that mankind is waiting to see your latest photographs. You have to let go of the notion that it is silly to pose. You have to act a little bit. And you have to remember that the photographer will be grateful to you for doing that. They will not judge you, but they will work with what you give them.

And Armitage gives. He is posing nicely erect in front of that unsightly backdrop (advertising *ugh*). With his head slightly angled down – probably the usual effect from having to look down onto a photographer who is a few inches shorter than himself – he is offering a look at himself in an open pose, arms simply at his side, signalling friendly openness. His gaze in the image is the characteristic non-smile smile, the contradiction of which still gets me: the eyes smile while the mouth does not curl up. (I have tried doing this in front of the mirror – yeah, I *do* self-experiment for these *ooof*s – but I cannot do it. When I make my eyes smile, my mouth curls.) Armitage is a wonder of anatomy, it seems. Well, duh, of course he is *haha*.

I have chosen this image in particular because it is a rare profile shot of the man. We know that Mr A has certain reservations about the size of his assets. Well, *some* assets *coughs*. The one that peaks out at the front. His nose, ladies, his nose!!!! We can sympathise: Everyone has certain physical attributes which we don’t like about ourselves. Mr A has expressed his opinion before that his nose is too big. Fans all over the world disagree – the imperfection of the slightly too big nose is the detail that sets off the perfection. And it is nice to actually see it in its full glory. Especially when the same shot also reveals something that the fandom has been getting their collective knickers in a twist over – the length of Armitage’s hair. We can see the hair covering Armitage’s nape. And the luscious little curls, reminiscent of Sir Guy, making a reappearance. Yes, Richard, the Army approves very much – the hair suits you. In a day and age where the mullet is derided by *everyone*, you rock it. I don’t even register it for what it is – it just really suits him, softens the profile that is very much characterised by the sharp line and tip of the nose by contrasting it with the slightly unruly curliness of the hair. Add to that the contradiction of the pale skin and the dark hair, and we have the classic characteristics that photographers look out for when they are framing a shot. Beauty alone won’t do – perfection is boring. It is contradiction and unexpected surprises that are worthy of being shown.

An hour into finding these shots, at the time of writing, I have regained enough sanity to also delve into my customary little photography lecture. (Yep, sorry ladies, even an emergency *ooof* can’t go without the theory… ) Hand on heart, girls, have you noticed anything unusual in the shot? Probably not, because you are focussing on the important bits, i.e. the subject. But I have to comment on the angle used in the shot. If you tear away your eyes from Richard’s nose and nape curls to take in the bigger view, for a moment, you should notice that the shot is not horizontal. The background makes that very clear, as we can see the lines on the (writing on the) backdrop leaning towards the right. Had only Richard been in the shot on his own, we might not have noticed so much, but the presence of a second subject in the frame makes the tilted angle very clear. This is not caused by the photographer swooning at the onslaught of Armitagean hotness, but a deliberate decision by Winter. By angling the camera this way, he introduces dynamicism into an otherwise very boring, very static scene – there is no action contained in the depicted scene as the two subjects are statically posing for the assembled press. In order to add a bit of visual interest, Winter challenges us with the angle. Another effect of the angled shot is also that more focus is given to the actual subject of the shot than the background. This works particularly well here as Armitage on his own does not look unnaturally tilted to the right, whereas the background does. Our gaze therefore connects with the subject in focus, allowing the background to literally fall back…

This angle, interestingly, is also called “German angle” *yeehah* in cinematography, as it was first introduced by German filmmakers in the early 1900s. In films, they are often used to convey a sense of madness, of weirdness, of out-of-the-ordinaryness. Even though an angle does not really *distort* reality in the true sense of the word, it will nonetheless convey that *feeling* of distortion. Our eyes are so accustomed to seeing things the right way up and straight and ordinary, that a slightly angled perspective will already communicate to us that “something is wrong”… While “madness” is not the message that Winter wants to get across here, a German angle however also communicates a feeling of creativity, and artsy, edgy coolness. It tells us that the photographer is willing to break the rules and to do something that is generally a no-no. If (press) photography is documentary in nature, then angle and perspective should be realistic. By breaking that rule, Winter has shown himself to be creative and inventive – and that feel and message can be extended to the subject he is picturing.

Can I even come up with an emergency ficlet for this emergency *ooof*? Oh dear, it’s too early for creativity, and I am one of those whose creativity really flows at night, but let’s give it a shot.

It was beginning again. He had had a fantastic summer. Starting off with the reunion with his friends from his biggest film project so far, and only a small number of photo engagements and a few meetings with the press, he’d really enjoyed his summer. His new pad in New York was delightful, right in the heart of the city, in a place where he could venture out unseen and generally unaccosted by the blasé New Yorkers who were far too busy to recognise celebrities. And he was hardly the biggest fish in the pond. Luckily Jackman was keeping the fans happy – thanks, mate. But with autumn also approached the renewed promotion cycle for the Hobbit. Time to ease myself back into that, he sighed. His publicist had arranged for him to attend a press event on the occasion of BAFTA week. “An opportunity to bring out the Oscar-stance and the carefully measured camera smile, Richard!” she had said to him.

He was standing in front of his suitcase. A press event. What to wear? There were going to be photographers. What kind of message did he want to convey? Hot rising star? Sophisticated serious actor? Casual boy-next-door? Fuck it. He just wanted to feel comfortable. To hell with fashion – I’d pad out there in my comfy crocs and a pair of jogging pants, if I could. He sighed. No, it would not do. He had an image to maintain, his publicist had reminded him. She had also let on that his fans had been quite enamored with some of the incidental images that had been shot of him over the summer. The non-professional twitter kind of stuff, and the fan shots from signings and events. He growled. I wish there was a checklist. He paused. Hold on. He was not an actor with a colourful imagination for nothing. If I were my own fan, a youngish, 40-something, straight woman with a penchant for tall dark British actors, what would appeal to me? He stood for a second, chewing on his index finger, lost in thought. Then he started rummaging in his suitcase again.

Long slim legs… tight denims. He pulled on his trousers. Check.

Accentuated narrow hips… chunky leather belt. Around the hips it went. Check.

Narrow waist and wide shoulders… tight little jacket. Best not too casual. So not the leather number. Grey jacket then. Check.

Broad chest… under a suit jacket, so has to be a collared shirt. Stripy number. He tucked the shirt tails into his waistband and straightened up. Check.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Yeah. Sufficient. But sufficient is not stunning. He ran a hand through his hair which he had grown out a bit in preparation for an upcoming project. And then it hit him. The checklist was not quite complete. His audience needed a bit more.

Romantic hero look… Sir Guy nape curls. They had always liked that. He fluffed his fingers through the hair at the back. Yup. A few of the unruly curls standing out cheekily. Check.

A slight grin appeared on his face. He remembered the reaction to an impromptu shot taken in a designer shop earlier in the summer where he had tried to gauge the reaction of his fans to his showing a little bit more. His hands went up to his collar. This would be the broadside.

A man in his prime… chest hair. He opened up the top two bottoms. Check.

And check mate, girls. He grinned impishly. Off we go.

(Edit: Exchanged image and corrected a few typos.)

All text © Guylty at me + richard armitage, 2013. Please credit when using excerpts and links. Images and video copyrights accrue to their owners.

~ by Guylty on September 22, 2013.