The first time ever I saw John Porter

[Left: Promotional photo of Richard Armitage as John Porter. Source: RichardArmitageNet.com]

John Porter in Strike Back was the first Richard Armitage role that I saw “almost live” as it appeared. I had listened to Clarissa, live, and experienced my first “thrill of simultaneity” with other fans, one to be repeated a few more times in subsequent years — for the Captain America premiere, and more famously, the first time we saw #richardarmitage trend on Twitter. But seeing “new” Richard Armitage work put me on the same knowledge level for the very first time as fans who’d been watching his work for years.

Of course, it was “almost live” because anyone who was watching Strike Back from the U.S. in those days did it illegally. You couldn’t get even the Region 2 DVD until a month later. I didn’t see the episodes on the days they appeared but just slightly afterwards. I got them from a friend whom I am sure still prefers to remain nameless. I wasn’t technologically adept enough at that point to find them myself, nor to make screencaps (I learned how later that summer), so I couldn’t do what I’d do with Spooks 9 later that year — stay up all night to write an immediate long analytical response with illustrated examples.

But what happened with those episodes, when I saw them, was something that’s been repeated every “first time” I’ve seen Mr. Armitage on screen, with a few minor exceptions — an immediate, visceral response. In that case, when I saw them, I was caught up in the whole question of the family drama and the problem of vindication and community, and it enabled me to write candidly about my past, something that I really struggled to do at that time. (That may be hard to believe now.)

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Richard Armitage as John Porter in Strike Back 1.4. My cap.

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It was the beginning of a long engagement with John Porter, whose story has meant so much to me — as hero or heroic archetype, as shamed failure, as figure of the search for vindication, as worker-out of trauma, as cheerleader, as father, as wash and wear soldier-type, and infinitely reliable quick sex fantasy, as troubling victim — and there I’m linking only a few of the posts I’ve written about him. A Porter scene was one of the two I was watching on infinite repeat during my mother’s cancer surgery. He’s gotten me through a lot.

And now Porter comes to the United States.

The night after I saw Strike Back 1 and 2 (“Iraq”) I wrote a long, ridiculously emotional post that I’m still too ashamed to publish. Maybe some day.

But I had that experience again last night — watching some new content and just being bowled over by it — and it made me think of the experience of watching Porter. It was exactly the same thing — I was watching from the computer episode 1 from the computer, and was glued to the screen. But every few minutes, I had to make myself stop and catch my breath. And often I rewound a few seconds or a minute to watch again before proceeding.

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John Porter (Richard Armitage) takes his first calculating glance at Collinson, in Strike Back 1.1. My cap.

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I know now that I’ve become overly tense any first time I watch Richard Armitage do something. I think this was my first evidence of that — so that I was watching very, very closely. Watching like a hawk.

That chin movement, for example, the macho one that asserts his authority when he gives Collinson his own gun.

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Collinson (Andrew Lincoln) looks at the gun John Porter (Richard Armitage) presses on him in Strike Back 1.1. My cap.

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I remember my sigh of weariness when the bubblegum pop song comes over the helicopter journey into Baghdad, but also my response to the aesthetic of the flickering light over Armitage’s face. (And now, we know, he almost fell out of the helicopter on that shoot.)

I remember the cool determination on his face here:

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John Porter (Richard Armitage) on his mission to recover Kenneth Bratton, in Strike Back 1.1. My source.

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and how startled he is when he realizes the bomb is attached to a child:

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John Porter (Richard Armitage) sees As’ad for the first time in Strike Back 1.1. My cap.

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I found myself watching this part over and over again, just to examine how Armitage was using his eyes:

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And then I had to pause, as the helicopter left the building. For about fifteen minutes. To catch my breath.

I remember Porter, the still-dazed soldier after the mission:

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Collinson (Andrew Lincoln) tells Porter (Richard Armitage) what As’ad said to him, in Strike Back 1.1. My cap.

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I watched several times Porter’s affection for his daughter:

John Porter (Richard Armitage) reunited with his daughter Lexi (Lauren das Neves) in Strike Back 1.1. My caps.

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I still remember my ten times replay of the guilt and sorrow on Porter’s face as hears from the doctor that Steve’s injuries are not treatable?

John Porter (Richard Armitage) when he hears the bad news in Strike Back 1.1. My cap.

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The scenes of Porter in his superior’s office and his concession that he will have to leave his unit and the regiment do not make an appearance in my reactions from that evening, but the subsequent scenes, in which Porter comforts his daughter, and especially the one in which tries to find work with Kenneth Bratton, absolutely haunted me.

This scene affected me for years, I watched it over and over again not just that night but subsequently, and it finally brought me to write about why I love Strike Back despite its kitschiness. It helped me understand why even when I don’t like the stage directions of everything Armitage is doing, I’m so wholly affected by his portrayals.

Probably the most affecting scenes for me up till that point were the ones with the women as Porter is reactivated: with Layla, Danni and the unseen female psychiatrist, and those did finally provoke an early analysis from me, a few days after I saw this episode.

And then I got to that kiss, and all was over — I watched it something like six dozen times in two days.

Looking back now, I see scenes I see differently than I did then, and some things I want to address, particularly the arc of Armitage’s performances against Lincoln and the status games being played there.

But summing up my reaction to the piece at the time — I felt like something inside me had been not just affected, but permanently moved — and the fact that I continue to think about Strike Back three years later, as it makes its way to my own country — suggests a quality to Armitage’s performance in that transcends the kitschiness of its themes and the predictability of its scripts.

Welcome to the United States, John Porter. May my fellows treat you well and learn to love you, may they be as provoked to think, and to be moved, as much as I have been.

~ by Servetus on October 24, 2013.