never / Can this decay, but is beginning ever

Or, somewhat less pleasingly to me, in the original: hoc non deficit incipitque semper.

A good day, the best one since the weekend. Some complicated things that had started to make me despair may actually work out. Two things go right, and I recover my optimism. See how easy I am?

For some reason today I was pondering — among other things, like the problem of why the portion sizes I want to buy in the grocery store don’t seem to exist — the sheer oddness of still having this much Richard Armitage in my life. I know this is not usual, to have social media trained on one subject with such intensity. On one level it’s not that different from what I did in my academic life — and like those studies, it remains endlessly engaging, never boring, never tiring. Someone told me in a rather memorable conversation that took place in the fall of 1987 that for people in my circumstances, boredom does not originate in the object but comes from the subject, that boredom is fostered in the bored person. If we are not happy we must search for the reasons why within ourselves and try to change them. Or as we heard today, if we are doing something silly, live out the silliness, for everyone needs it. Admittedly, I don’t need to search that much at the moment. Despite the whole range of uncertainties that plague every single day and plenty of exasperation, I am free from school and this is such a blessing. Free not to have to know. Free to enjoy, free to love.

As regards Armitage, I am still as eager every morning to find something new, or failing that, simply to be pleased by the older things that pass by my review in new combinations. Plenty of information still to discover about The Crucible, of course. I really look forward to turning on the screen — and the screen is so pleasing.

There is no labour, nor no shame in this

I wanted to write something longer and more thoughtful tonight but I think that I will once again simply go to bed. There will be time yet to think. For now I want to dream.

~ by Servetus on July 16, 2014.