Empowering vs disempowering Richard Armitage fantasy

vlcsnap-2015-01-11-22h12m36s75Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.

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I’ve been wording away about this question in private for several days now and haven’t come to any conclusions. So I’ll drop the basic theses down here with the promise to think and write about it some more soon.

I think about Richard Armitage a lot, but the thoughts are most intense and most present when I’m my most vulnerable, lying down to fall asleep and right after the alarm goes off, I think because at these points I am either taking off my shields, or they are not yet up for the day.

I have had more or less the same primary Richard Armitage fantasy — my most recent one — since around December 2013. It’s a story that I tell myself when I am falling asleep, often to create calm, and one I wake up in the morning. It has a sexual element in it but the primary theme is hurt / comfort.

Just lately — the last ten days or so — I’ve had an entirely new fantasy creep in around the edges. It has no hurt / comfort element and so far no sexual scene (although it’s early days yet for this fantasy, admittedly). If it turns out to have no primary or defining sexual element that will be an absolute first for me. But that surprises me somewhat less than the other major feature of the fantasy which is — creative.

I’ve been playing with the idea in my mind that I have finally stopped feeling as radically disempowered as I have for years and that hurt / comfort is a fantasy of disempowerment and the new fantasy is a fantasy of creativity, i.e., empowerment. This is too strong a dichotomy — hurt / comfort fantasy has gotten me a long way and helped me solve two particular problems that have troubled me for a while.

I want to write about this more soon. If I’m going to have an empowering Richard Armitage fantasy, all of this stuff is going to jump another level. I really hope so. I can’t wait.

~ by Servetus on January 29, 2015.

31 Responses to “Empowering vs disempowering Richard Armitage fantasy”

  1. This is exciting! 🙂

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    • I think it is, too — I am hoping I’ll get the guts to put this stuff down here, because it’s a fantasy that’s really close to reality (unlike most of my fantasies)

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  2. Bizarre: je me suis longtemps racontée des “histoires” (fantasy) avec des acteurs (Gary Oldman ^^) ou d’autres personnages juste avant de dormir. Quand j’ai vu “The Hobbit” (AUJ), j’ai commencé à imaginer quelque chose avec R.A (en le transformant un peu). Quelques semaines plus tard, je me suis mise à écrire les bases d’une histoire …
    C’est vraiment étrange, ce processus, la façon dont ça fonctionne. Et du plus loin que je me souvienne, je me suis toujours bercée de ces “fantasy” (je ne trouve pas le mot exact à part “histoires”, en français) en m’endormant, qui ont pris un léger caractère sexuel (+ou – ) à l’adolescence et évidemment, à l’âge adulte.
    En tout cas, cela m’a beaucoup aidée. Et surtout, permis d’écrire ….

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    • Votre écriture est limpide, appelle au rêve, j’aimerais découvrir certains de vos écrits,
      Pour ma part les expériences, de délire imaginatif, du levé ou du couché, malgré tous mes efforts, n’ont jamais conduit à un quoique ce soit d’abouti…. Ce qui ne m’empêche pas de perséverer . J’espère être un jour inspirée, trouver un filon d’or.
      Comme Esther les films ou histoires inachevées sont les plus inspirantes
      ( North and South, le Silence de la Mer…)
      Surtout j’aime l’état second entre rêve -réalité, sommeil -éveil , dans lequel je me complais et qui prête à l’évasion ,à la sensation que tout est possible dans l’imaginaire .C’est un rite de passage du jour à la nuit ou de la nuit au jour , qui m’est nécessaire.
      Bonsoir des pays de loire

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes: exactly — that place where everything is possible and you’re not always sort of saying to yourself, this is inconsistent or unrealistic.

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      • Merci Elise. En fait, j’écris depuis…que je sais le faire ^^ (c’est malin).
        J’ai une histoire en cours que je poste sur mon blog (collectif) sous le pseudo Leya (fantasy). A la base j’avais commencé par faire une fan fiction du Hobbit (merci à R.Armitage et cie), mais finalement j’ai tout transformé même si je pense qu’on retrouve en cherchant bien certains des acteurs (jeu de piste) 🙂
        Bon, je donne le lien du blog (seulement en français) :http://triplettesdepartout.blog4ever.com/

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    • yes — I think it absolutely facilitates other kinds of creativity (writing, e.g.)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Liberation? The empowerment to be creative.
    Very excited for you about this and looking forward to reading more.

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  4. Hello dear,

    just so you know, I do the same thing.

    I use my fantasies (Thorin, in my case, before that Loki, Severus Snape, and Lt.William Bush (from Hornblower)) to assess my emotional state and to move myself to a better emotional place. And I do it all the time. I have many different fantasies and I change them according to which one suits my mood best.

    But I have seen the same thing you describe in all of them – as I evolve and my confidence, self-love and satisfaction grows, my fantasies change with me. They have changed several times already, and if I were to compare those I imagined at 18 about Severus Snape to the current ones with Thorin, they would be radically different.

    It is very satisfying to see your own emotional progress manifested in your imagination, isn’t it? I like it immensely 🙂

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  5. This sounds so promising and it feels like you’re on the brink of a whole world of new possibilities! Embrace it and enjoy it.

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  6. Glad to see you’re seeing the boundless possibilities of creativity. That’s only going to produce more desire to push forward and explore! The benefits of no fear. It has all been leading to this. Excited for you and happy to see where it will lead!

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    • creativity + honesty … there’s been a ton of stuff floating across my screen about honesty lately. Very encouraging.

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  7. Sounds intriguing, Serv! Empowerment is good! 🙂

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  8. PS: Ever since I was young I have always made up stories in my head before I fall asleep. It’s my soothing technique, especially in difficult times when sleep threatens to elude me, escaping to these stories helps me shut off my mind to other things and fall asleep. My stories have centered around continuations of films and around favorite actors. My stories aren’t sexual but they do all center around finding love… I never hear of other people doing this, but now here I find two people doing this as well, making up stories before they fall asleep! How fun to see this connection!

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    • Reading this I feel a little bit relieved or unburdened… It makes me also smile… I do as well have such fantasies or this creative mind or what ever you call it. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, when I commute, or putting on my makeup for the working day ahead (another mask 😉 maybe…) Somtimes sexual or non-sexual, comforting or calming, sometimes uplifting and empowering… even my person(a) is a better self 😉 But what I think a little bit strange is the thought that it only works with RA or some sort of “blurred” man like RA – it would never work with an actor / singer / neighbour and so on – which is either married, has kids or is ten yours younger…
      Thank you and wishing you all a liberated week!

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      • I guess we’re all finding out that we’re … totally normal 🙂 interesting that this is such a widely shared experience.

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    • I do that too! I especially change the endings of books and movies to suit myself.

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    • Me too.

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    • Wow guys, this is amazing! So, way more people do this than we think? I sometimes tell people I make up stories before I fall asleep about movies or actors and everyone looks at me like it is something totally weird that would never in a million years occur to them… Gosh, I remember at the age of 13 or so imagining what it would be like to meet Gregory Peck and how that would even be possible with me living in a small town in Germany and him in Hollywood!

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      • Those are the best ones, I think, when the story is so improbable as to be impossible — something really comforting about those fantasies. Maybe they are safer because they are so far from reality?

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  9. 🙂

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  10. This is so interesting. Add me to the list of those who compose stories as they fall asleep. Every night. I work on the same story/scenario for months at a time. It IS very nice to know that others do it too. Not sure why I’m surprised that so many others find it comforting as well.

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    • me too — a scenario can last me months or years if it is productive because I tend to begin from the beginning or a familiar point every night, and try out different options, and at least at night I usually fall asleep within 20 min or so.

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    • and that’s part of why a shift is so notable — because it doesn’t happen that often and signals the old story is no longer serving the function I need it to

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  11. Yeah, I mean, lifelong insomniac here, and the only trick to falling asleep that has ever worked for me is when I can spin a story for myself as I lie in bed that is so engrossing that my brain eventually stops being able to hold it all and I drift off. Mind you, these stories are about fictional people and places nearly one hundred percent of the time, but it’s the same principle, right? 🙂

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  12. […] mostly without Richard Armitage fantasy. I’d been struggling before that a bit, anyway, when this fantasy went surprisingly south. I spent a lot of the first day of Rosh Hashanah writing about this […]

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