Light at the end of the tunnel?

It’s been a really long summer as a fan — one spent mostly without Richard Armitage fantasy. I’d been struggling before that a bit, anyway, when this fantasy went surprisingly south. I spent a lot of the first day of Rosh Hashanah writing about this question, without coming to a whole lot of conclusions. I’ve always had the fantasies, really up until the Cybersmile posts, but after that, they were flickering and, I thought, maybe dying? It’s hard to explain what I’ve been going through on this topic, even to myself.

Last night, I was reading a Richard Armitage RPF and an image stuck in my head and this morning, there it was, again, the revived fantasy with all its most beautiful features — a bit slow, a bit choppy, struggling to get out — organized around a particular image. And I felt really youthful again for the first time in months. And creative. Like it would be worth chasing around a few thoughts and writing them down again. Energetic. Like I could see myself as an author, as a maker, again.

Tulpa revived? In any case, please stay around, Mr. revived Richard Armitage fantasy. You made my day so much brighter. I still need you.

~ by Servetus on September 30, 2015.