Top 10 job skills Richard Armitage should not need to use in Mid Life Crisis
Acting requires the actor to get up close and personal with various activities that characters do on screen, and Richard Armitage is known for insisting on the real experience. From hospital passes playing rugby (apparently he fibbed about his familiarity with the sport) to visits to sheep farms to shovel manure to days spent sharpening an axe head, Armitage wants to know how to do things well. Mid Life Crisis, it seems from his hints, requires him to use a guitar convincingly. Although Armitage has referred to playing the guitar before, as a child, there has been some discussion, based on his tweets, about the level and quality of his guitar playing skills. Armitage himself has been skeptical, remarking that he sounds better with earplugs and the sound turned off. He may need to sing or dance in this role. Still, at the same time, there are probably plenty of things he’s tried that he won’t have to do in this production. Or so one guesses. We may miss some of these more than others.
11. Horse riding, where he went from having his horse run away with him on the first series of Robin Hood to developing a “special relationship” with his “pony” on The Hobbit. Although I have to admit I will really miss this — unless he does some dancing where he totally moves those hips.
10. Dying. Although he’s gotten better at this over the years, too, still it’s a bummer to keep watching his stuff only to witness his demise. Hopefully, pursuing his rockstar dreams won’t put him at risk of anything more than bruised fingertips.
9. Cravat tying. Although you kind of suspect his mum did it for him anyway.
8. Broad sword manipulation. He learned it as Guy of Gisborne, he perfected it as Thorin Oakenshield, but all along, Armitage appears to have known what was coming.
7. Artificial respiration. I’m honestly hoping that no one drowns in this film (see point 4).
6. Digging graves. This was really strenuous and people slapped him for doing it, but somehow he never got sunburned. So I can imagine he would miss it, but I wouldn’t.
5. Walking on air. I mean, Richard Armitage basically walks on water already, but this was extra special.
4. Circumventing water hazards. It made him cry. So I hope for no aqua aerobics or fire extinguishing or submarines or barrel scenes.
3. Chewing the props. I mean, who needs it?
2. Washing his upper body in a bucket. Because in the twenty-first century, we have running water. So much nicer.
And the NUMBER ONE JOB SKILL RICHARD ARMITAGE SHOULD NOT NEED TO USE IN MID LIFE CRISIS:
- Standing patiently while makeup artists paint his ass crack.
More’s the pity.