BREAKING: Thorin Oakenshield to run for PM as leader of Dwarf Superiority Party

Even though no one has called new elections, Thorin Oakenshield wants to be ready. As usual, he’s a little fixated.

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~ by Servetus on July 1, 2016.

20 Responses to “BREAKING: Thorin Oakenshield to run for PM as leader of Dwarf Superiority Party”

  1. Of course! At last some true leadership! Ok, he’s a little mad, but not as much as most of the candidates… 😂😂😂

    • Yeah, maybe the path to destruction but at least we’ll get there efficiently. Well, except for that little incident with the trolls.

  2. Ha, ha. “We’ll spend this money on DHS”. You’re cracking me up.
    It’s not going to happen, Serv. At least not until DHS cures his dragon sickness, and that may take a while 🙂

  3. There is one I could follow. There is one I could call king. Can you ask him what his policy is on the single fishmarket in Laketown?

    • He’s not only pro-single fishmarket, he’s pro single fish. Atlantic cod, no haddock substitutes.

  4. His campaign’s slogan would be: “Will you follow me one last time!”
    Who would be the five armies then?

    • And who would be Gandalf?? Thorin needs someone who is able to bring him to his senses, if necessary.

      • Thranduil as Merkel?

        • Ha, ha… I don’t think I’m able withstand that imagination. Angela Merkel on that elk… and with his crown… lol!

          • She doesn’t really seem into jewelry.

            • Nein, aber das, was sie trägt wird sehr genau beachtet. Im Wahlkampf trug sie mal eine Kette aus Steinen, die von der Farbe her, an die deutsche Fahne erinnerten – große Aufregung, wilde Spekulationen…
              So eine Krone würde also einige Unruhe auslösen. Vom Elch einmal ganz abgesehen 😉

  5. Now there’s a leader I could follow. And I’m not even a dwarf!

  6. Party is open to any supporter who beliefs in Dwarf Superiority. They’re not Dwarf Supremacists — they just believe they are a little better than everyone else 🙂

  7. “Bloody dragons! Coming over here, taking all our gold!”
    “Now, Thorin, you know the banking sector, energy sector and air transport sector would be worse off without them.”
    “Send them home, I say! Erebor first! And those elves are just as bad!”
    “But we have a free movement of labour agreement with Mirkwood. And what about the young ones? Fili is going to study runes in Rivendell and Kili has an Elvish girlfriend!”
    “I’m doing it for them! Take back Erebor!”
    “But Mithril is falling in value…”
    Balin’s voice is drowned out as Dwalin, Bifur, Bombur, Oin, Gloin, Dori and Nori cheer heartily and start to sing “Misty Mountains”, and Fili, Kili, Ori, Bofur and Balin look at each other in despair.

    • Plus think about the pension scheme problem given the dwarves low reproductive rate. They need immigrant labor to pay for their retirements!

  8. But what if we want to write him in for President too?

  9. Sadly for what we are offered for candidates most election years this sounds pretty promising 🙂

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