How I feel tonight about me + richard armitage

I have many more words to spill on this topic and Love, Love, Love; I’ll probably be posting long after everyone else has moved on. 30 more pp. of notes.

But I think, in the end, it comes down to the feeling one has when one leaves the theater the last time and what I feel is: grateful. Alive! Grateful for the whole fan journey. (Probably more about this coming in February as I’ll be completing seven years of writing this blog.) Grateful for having stumbled over Richard Armitage. Grateful for everything I’ve learned. Alive in all my senses. Lungs full of oxygen. Giddy.

And — and I don’t know how to say this: I was musing this afternoon while sitting in café probably fifty yards from where Richard Armitage was getting ready to perform Love, Love, Love for the last time — this weird proximity with division that I continue to believe in, the fourth wall. I get to look in. I don’t necessarily want him to reach out. There are things I’d like to know but I’d rather wonder about them than be told or know directly (maybe?). I enjoy pondering what’s in Richard Armitage’s brain and heart and I will continue to do that. I don’t mind, I even enjoy, the hullabaloo — the pictures, the tweeting, standing at the stage door and wondering how it will be. The giggling. I embrace being a fan as much as I struggle with it, but in the end, I’m happy to be standing in the group of people hoping he’ll come out the door and I don’t care if people laugh about that preoccupation (or worse). As Kenneth says in this play: Their choice, how they want to be.

But it struck me today: There’s a reason I’m willing to do a lot to be in a theater with Armitage — I really feel him in his element; I feel he’s more fully immanent here than in any other setting I experience him (tv, cinema, computer screen, earphones). It’s a rare privilege, I feel, and it’s one that lasts only a few hours and then is gone, held only in my memory or the things I’ve been able to capture and turn over in my mind. It’s special precisely because it can’t be repeated.

Watching the play, I’m watching Richard Armitage give me his truest gift. Maybe the thing he wants most to give someone like me.

I felt honored every time. No matter what else I end up having to say — it is enough.

~ by Servetus on December 19, 2016.

13 Responses to “How I feel tonight about me + richard armitage”

  1. Richard said he feels alive when he is on stage and I believe this is really where his heart is also. If so, I would love to see him continue in this medium and go wherever he is happiest and I think he feels he is able to give his best.

  2. Very well said Servetus. I agree with you. He has seemed more alive this year than other times. Happy festivities to you.

  3. So glad this is how you walk away from the experience: giddy, grateful, enough. It is worth all the toil, expense and emotional wranglings. I love being here to experience your heart and ideas. It has been more than worth it to me!!!! Thank you Richard!!!!

    • And putting myself in the hands of the US air transport system, lol. It was a great experience; I was asking myself, would you keep doing this and the answer was an emphatic yes. Thanks for being along for the ride!

  4. To be in theater watching him is indeed a privilege, and I am grateful I was able to see him in London and New York. I thank you for sharing your experience and for documenting the autumn of Love, Love, Love! I’m glad there will be more, your writing makes me live vividely, I am back there, waiting for him, seeing him, recollecting my own priceless moments. All the best wishes and joyful holidays!

  5. Thank you very much for all your comments, thoughts and sharing the tweets of LLL. For me it was a possibility to take part from the distance. I am happy for you that you have taken the chance to visit the play again at this weekend and that it will be an outstanding memory and you can reminisce about your stay

  6. Je ne reprendrai pas pour miennes, les pensées déjà exprimées par d’autre fans et que je partage pleinement, mais, j’ajouterai juste que si le théâtre est le média où Richard Armitage expose le mieux son talent et y nage comme un poisson dans l’eau, POUR VOUS SERVETUS CET OUTIL chopper ou biface (je vous laisse choisir) est actuellement votre blog. Ce blog est le reflet de vous-même et la chambre d’écho de vos pensées.
    Je souhaite, que 2017, vous permettent d’utiliser, bien d’autres moyens d’interface, pour faire valoir votre immense talent.

    • Wow — thank you!

      I was thinking this weekend that all I have are words (I’m not good with pictures and I’m a lousy actor in the sense that I have a hard time pretending to be something I am not.) Then again — prompted by the thought that the people-watching available in NYC is simply incomparable, you just walk down the street and you witness three things that would be worthy to record — I was thinking maybe he and I aren’t so different. I also spend a lot of time imagining what the lives of other people are like.

      • Ne devenez pas une espionne, une personne voyeuriste, mais une journaliste sensible, qui témoigne de la vie actuelle à travers le crible de ses connaissances d’historienne, d’enseignante.
        La “fréquentation” de la sphère de Richard Armitage, rend plus apte à capter ce qui touche le coeur et l’âme. Il y a en commun une sensibilité, un altruisme, un humanisme dans le sens amour des Hommes, mais aussi l’idée de porte parole, de dénonciation.
        Actuellement, il devient de plus en plus difficile, aux humains de trouver un sens, à ce qu’ils vivent. Ce monde courre dans n’importe quelle direction. L’actualité dans les médias ne cherche que le sensationnel ( un scoop en chasse un autre, un tourbillon sans fin, sans parler des manipulations de nos cervelles).
        La beauté est partout un objet, un paysage, une fleur, un animal, un regard humain. Il faut rester l’oeil ouvert vers l’extérieur à soi-même, pour choisir ce qui est worthy to record.
        Nous restons des Homo sapiens sapiens, nos capacités sont les mêmes que celles de Cro Magnon, seuls les moyens et le monde actuel diffèrent!

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