The resumption of Richard Armitage dreams?

I used to blog whenever I dreamed about Richard Armitage, and then I quite consciously stopped publishing those posts. My reasons have changed, and I need to recapture the openness about my fan experiences that this blog had in the beginning.

Last night, I finally pushed through the longest writer’s block of my post-Armitage period (two months), with a six thousand word post that was more logorrhea than anything else. So in a way, it’s not surprising that I would have had an Armitage dream, as that clog loosened itself, my subconscious attention drifted to “the next thing,” and in general I’ve tended to connect him with the vagaries of my creativity.

To understand this dream, you need to know that I have an unaddressed health issue that’s been on my mind lately. It’s nothing serious — it won’t even come close to killing me or harming my health — but it’s something that other people have no problem with. My inexplicable failure to deal with has created a self-esteem-related emotional obstacle in my life.

In the dream, I’ve decided to see the appropriate doctor to deal with the issue. His office turns out to be the same office where my dad went for his eye surgery this week (probably reflects remaining tension over that matter). The doctor turns out to be Richard Armitage — bearded, thin but not as thin as he is currently, but not beefy, either, wearing a white lab coat. I go into the exam room, which has a window that looks out onto the Vera-Brittain-Ufer in central Berlin, because I can see the cafes and the Spree. Armitage examines the problem area of my body. He has a doctor colleague, a thin woman in blue scrubs with silver-blond hair and old-fashioned pearl earrings and greyish eyes, who is sitting on a chair in the room.

How long has it been since you addressed this? he asks. Twenty years, I answer.

How could you wait so long? he asks.

I don’t have an answer. I get sleepy, and so I start stripping off my clothes. The colleague leaves the room, and as I am disrobing, I also leave it and go to a room in the same office that has no windows. It has a more traditional exam area with a bench with paper on it, and I lie down on my side on the paper and sob a little.

Eventually, I pull myself together and go back into the first room, which is now empty, and start to put my clothes on. As I sit down to tie my shoes, I look out the window toward the street and I can see that Armitage is sitting on the other side the window, with his back to my wide, in a cafe chair — bearded, jeans, blue cloth bomber jacket, sunglasses. He’s not looking at me at all.

I finish tying my shoes and when I stand up, he’s gone.

[at this point there was a loud noise upstairs that woke me up]

***

The health issue has been on my mind lately. But I think in combination with the writer’s block issue and the way that resolved itself last night, it’s a “you’d better look at your self-esteem issues” dream.

~ by Servetus on June 26, 2017.

6 Responses to “The resumption of Richard Armitage dreams?”

  1. Thinking of you and please don’t compare yourself to others. We all deal (or don’t in my case :-)) with things differently. I know you will find the right strategy for you and that’s all that matters. It’s great to have the dream diary back.

    • Thanks for your support. I’m hoping to be more open about these things overall again. I realized recently that I was mourning that earlier persona and that I am the only person who can change that.

  2. Hoping your peace over the health issue increases and that by expressing yourself, you will be able to tackle it. Wishing you the best of health!

  3. Dreams like this can really stick with you… sometimes they help you realize what it is you really need to deal with. Wish you the very best for your health issue.

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