Top Ten list of questions Richard Armitage will not answer for #AskArmitage

Audible.com is offering us another #AskArmitage in honor of his latest two audiobooks. We’re getting to a point where many of these questions are becoming very familiar, and I still think the interviews where he was asked questions by a professional are better. Part of this is because fans ask the same questions over and over again — but part of it is because Audible is definitely not seeking out the most interesting questions to ask him. Here’s a sampling of questions tweeted at Armitage that I’m guessing Audible will sort out immediately.

10. What level are you on in Candy Crush Soda Saga?

Armitage’s biggest secret — he’s leveled up so far that they’ve created an episode with his face on its mascot. The episode name? Peachy paradise.

9. How much do you think about what your fans might want when choosing projects?

Yeah, om, well, not that much.

Who wants to be the person to alert his fans they don’t play as big of a role in his life as he does in ours? Of course Richard Armitage thinks about my literary preferences every time he signs an audiobook contract.

8. When you’re reading smutty Bagginshield fanfic, do you prefer Top!Thorin or Bottom!Thorin?

He doesn’t want to admit it publicly, but Richard Armitage is all about the cuddling. Fan manip. Source.

Friends report secretly that Armitage is totally gen in his fanfic tastes, but thinks it would harm Thorin’s reputation to be seen vulnerable or not in total control of every relationship. This is said to be the reason Thorin never has sex in the films. Also, a new revelation: Apparently Armitage never watched the third Hobbit film and as far as he knows, Thorin is still in control of Erebor.

7. Which of your co-stars on Ocean’s 8 is your favorite?

That’s a shifty look if I ever saw one. Richard Armitage as Claude Becker, from Ocean’s 8 trailer.

A gentleman NEVER tells.

6. What was that moldy, green thing in the refrigerator when you came home after a long time away?

“I’m not sure, but it was really horrible and I definitely shouldn’t have tasted to see what it was.”

5. What do you think we should do about North Korea?

Wrong Richard Armitage!! Again!!

4. Can we see the picture of you that time you bounced on your head?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never faceplanted. It’s all the snowboarders’ fault.”

3. What are you giving up for Lent?

“Not the ice cream! NOOOOOOOO!” Richard Armitage as photographed by Sarah Dunn, October 2014.

Sometimes it pays not to be too religious.

 

2. Beard or clean-shaven?

And the existential crisis goes on.

And the number one question Richard Armitage will not answer during the next #AskArmitage:

1. Why did you choose to narrate Wanderlust?

[silence]

“I won’t tell you. I don’t care what you do to me!” Richard Armitage as John Porter in Strike Back: Origins.

***

[This is a spoof.]

~ by Servetus on February 21, 2018.

34 Responses to “Top Ten list of questions Richard Armitage will not answer for #AskArmitage”

  1. This made my morning, thanks!!! roflmao

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I solemny swear I wasn’t the one who asked him about Wanderlust! 😇

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Hehehe. This was a great post to wake up to.
    You are spot on, though – the most interesting interviews are always the professional ones. And it’s not necessarily because the journos’ questions are better. (In fact, I think in many cases the fans have better questions, simply because they are better informed about the subject.) It’s because the interviews allow for an organic conversation where questions develop subsequently. Q&As are always just isolated questions, chosen (almost) randomly, without context. What’s more, the questions are picked by others, depending on their own agenda – their own promo needs, presumably. And of course, 280 characters do not exactly lend themselves to the detailed response we would like to hear.
    I have responded to Q requests only rarely. Most of the time I find myself self-censoring when thinking about questions to ask. (And that is not fun, imo, nor does it serve the purpose of a Q&A.) It’s pretty clear that anything vaguely personal or critical (even by exclusion, as in your number 7) is taboo, and that something like your number 1 would never be answered, even though that is probably the most interesting question to ask right now, as an answer would provide some insights into the motivations and ideas of RA when choosing projects.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree that these Q&As aren’t really interviews. Perhaps the best combination for an interviews would be fan and journalist — the best (and almost the only really good) fan interview I’ve seen in all these years is/are the ones by greendragon, about The Hobbit. She’s a fan but she also does journalism. Other than that the interviews that were memorable to me were all either by professional journalists (Donald Stephenson, or the interviews in the WSJ) or by experts who were not fans — the Following Film guy comes to mind. I think fans sometimes do fun interviews (I’m thinking of Abby Vegas at the Into the Storm premiere) but on the whole, if I have to choose, I’d pick an informed professional.

      There’s also the matter of whether we’d believe what he said about #1 in a setting like this.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Greendragon’s interviews have been great – informed by being a (LotR/Tolkien) fan but conducted in pro style. The Following Films podcast was another highlight because the interviewer did not have an agenda and allowed a conversation to develop. And yes, Abby’s interview was great fun, too. I have to agree that pros – when they are well-prepared – tend to be best because they are ‘unburdened’ by a fan agenda. And it is always interesting to see how people react to RA who are not fans.

        Like

        • Yeah — I think that’s it. It’s rare that a fan can ask a question that I’m not already aware of and have an idea of what the answer is. I still have the capacity to be surprised and educated by the questions of other interviewers.

          Like

  4. Thanks for the laugh! I’m sure he will not give a real/full/undiplomatic answer about why he narrated Wanderlust. I think it’s interesting that according to the BTS audio from The Martian Invasion, Armitage asked to read that script before agreeing to do the narration. Does that mean that he read the Wanderlust text before agreeing to that narration? Or was the scenario different because it was an Audible project? I’d love to know but I’m sure the answer will not be forthcoming.

    Like

    • I am sure no actor goes into a project without some knowledge of the script, he may later admit to speed reading the directors notes ‘character removes shirt/trousers ‘ for example but it’s more likely Audible was very persuasive and he needs the work.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I thought that was interesting too — i.e., that the director thought it was somehow unusual to ant to read the script first.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL!
    I’m especially curious about a truthful answer to that last question…

    Like

  6. Du zauberst ein Lächeln auf mein Gesicht 🙂
    Den dritten Hobbit Film hat er komplett aus seinem Gedächtnis gestrichen… hehehe. Das ist für sein Selbstbild sicher die bessere Wahl.
    Genau so habe ich den unsäglichen Charaktermord in “Spooks” gelöscht und fast die komplette vierte Staffel von “Sherlock”.

    Like

  7. I love to laugh when I start my day. Thanks for that. Maybe we’ll find out what book he’s reading. I think the Wanderlust question, or something about the project, may come up since it’s also an Audible product.

    Like

    • I definitely think stuff about the project will come up — but I wonder if / how the “why” question will, just in the sense that if I were the marketer I would not want him to appear defensive in any way.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh too!
    Why only 10 questions , go on! I wander where your imagination could lead us to? High leveled (sociology, psychology question, like: “For you mister Richard Armitage, is there any difference between waiting in a queue for tasted food or waiting for a good audiobook or cinematographic project to be , at the end of so many months, finally proposed “) or low leveled questions…, that doesn’t matter, because they federate fans around them.
    DEFINITELY A GLORIOUS FUNNY DAY!

    Like

    • There was a comic called David Letterman who was very popular when I was a teen / young adult, and he had a talk show where he did “top ten lists,” so this is a bit a copy of that.

      I should ask him some of the essay questions my students have to answer. That might be a good post. Thanks for the kind words.

      Like

  9. good ones :-))) would still pay to see his silent face seeing the questions ;-)) But nah, they’ll pick some about the current books and we might get some of his current reading or stuff like that… but great to start the day with a laugh!! Been a bit down with the ‘again no theatre’ business and fighting to finish the book off and get on with stuff and so on, the smiles and caps and such were great :-)) x

    Like

  10. Thanks for the laugh 🙂. And who knows, maybe audible will surprise everyone. But I wonder whether he has any influence on the questions chosen.

    Like

  11. Thanks as always for your sense of humor and making me smile. Loved the last one..definitely.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Re #10: The more important question is – Candy Crush or Gummy Drop?

    No, Richard, don’t answer that. Fans may be willing to forgive you for prefering dogs to cats but if you play the wrong game … argh!

    Like

  13. […] Top ten list of questions Richard Armitage will not answer for #AskArmitage (published February 21, 2018). The most highly ranked spoof — written after yet another one […]

    Like

  14. oh hell, i’ve only just read this one -it’s hilarious! so very close to the bone 😀

    Like

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