Richard Armitage loves Korea
I’m in love with Korea. A culture which is rooted in respect. Calm stillness and introspection. Lessons: I went in for a hug and got shoulder barged, learned how to bow, learned how precious eye contact is. (Window paint was a little welcome from the @LeMeridien hotel staff ❤️) pic.twitter.com/yyGsSCPom5
— Richard Armitage (@RCArmitage) July 7, 2019
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I’ve never been able to ‘push my self to the front’; in my profession it’s expected and is why I often fail. I can’t step forward without invitation. I appreciate the ‘you first’ nature of Korean culture and the tiny gift of a bow in greeting. A mark of respect.
— Richard Armitage (@RCArmitage) July 7, 2019
Me + Richard Armitage 
And I more less think about this what I thought about it when he said it about Japan (and this wasn’t the first time he said it about Japan, either):
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/richard-armitage-i-wish-i-could-jump-out-of-character-id-be-more-popular-8558685.html
And I still think about it what I generally think about a privileged white man making this complaint. It’s not an appropriate message for women, who are disadvantaged whether or not we step forward, but are more disadvantaged when we don’t.
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Thank you for your good words. Yes good truth to what you say.
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My reaction was: Aww. Poor pumpkin. But then is that how my crush should make me feel? Hmm. i wonder why he feels the need to show this vulnerability with his fans?
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Yeah, I wanted to tweet back at him something like “when a wealthy white man of privilege complains to his fans that he gets more respect in Korea in a hotel where they’re paid to be nice to you, it’s not a good look.” But I restrained myself.
I don’t get it either. I mean, I’m sure we all have wishes about how our careers might have gone but didn’t — but at the age of 50 I take responsibility for my own errors instead of blaming it on a culture that doesn’t understand and appreciate me.
re: respect in So. Korea, I wonder if he’s read any information about either the situation of LGBT people there, or their version of #metoo — which is focused on the fact that tons and tons of women get filmed on hidden cameras and streamed on porn sites.
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Chaque pays a ses codes comportementaux.
Il y a l’apparence des choses et la réalité. Ce n’est parce que la personne qui est devant vous adopte une attitude de retenue, de politesse et de gentillesse en surface que cela reflète ses véritables pensées.
Je préfère adopter une attitude de réelle bienveillance naturelle que de présenter un masque de bonté de façade. A un moment donné le sentiment d’avoir subi une arnaque, d’avoir été dupée, revient comme un boomerang dans le cerveau de la personne trahie. Alors il sera impossible de l’apprivoiser à nouveau.
Ma citation du jour, sortie du début du XVIIIe siècle “on n’ attrape pas les mouches avec du vinaigre”.
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makes you wonder if he did actually read Marcus Aurelius. One of the author’s main messages is “the world isn’t going to change for you, so learn to cope.”
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aha.. pretty stoic that, i agree though. but it’s harder to implement sometimes. Wonder if he had any good advice on the ‘learn to cope’ bit…
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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I totally agree with you on this. I was taken aback at the tweets. (I also find the enthusiasm slightly off-turning when I interpret them by implication: So are Westerners disrespectful, brash and invasive? Is that why a ban on touching was imposed at his con appearance?)
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i otoh can fully understand how certain level of formality and dealing with strangers, even in business circumstances can be very reassuring. I hate the ‘networking’ i constantly have to do with a vengeance. I’d be much happier with formal meetings and then be left alone. But of course this is the treatment afforded to a high up business guest, which in very few cases would be a women. Still, strictly comparing like with like customs in business i’d much prefer theirs.
Maybe it’s also the fact that all of us sometimes/or more often than not would like to feel/or pretend to feel we are truly welcome or cared for and not just in the middle of a constant business transaction.
I can see how nice it can be for people you interact with to remember more than one of your roles for example. Or not to have paparazzi in your nose, pushing you around.
As for Westerners being brash, disrespectful, invasive… well, the media business certainly is more than average. I see it at work on a daily basis, how different the expectations are of everything you have to do and participate in in the working environment, and i also see how colleagues from different backgrounds are less comfortable or enthusiastic about the non-work work commitments.
For an introverted person to suddenly not have to be constantly interacting, chatting, etc but still doing the work must be a relief.
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I don’t disagree with you — one reason I like Germany is that I was instructed in the rules, I understand them, use them, and feel comfortable with them. But more than that, while I tend to be in basic harmony with them, it’s also easy to see both the system behind them and how arbitrary they are (does it really matter if I leave my left hand on the table while I am eating or not?). They regulate contacts; they are not symptomatic of a fundamental difference in German culture per se. I prefer the very staid practices of German introduction that apply even in informal settings, to the Anglo-American cocktail party and having to make my own path through the room. But I don’t think that makes Anglo-Americans more or less friendly or polite, and I don’t think Germans are more or less happy to see me than Americans just based on their manners. I think about the whole question of whether a guest can help at a party (in the US you practically must offer, in Germany, you probably should not offer unless you know the host really well) and I don’t think that it means that Germans are more hospitable than Americans because they turn down offers of help from guests at their social occasions.
re: introverts — I find we are always at an advantage regarding fatigue in situations where we don’t speak the language and aren’t expected to communicate on our own behalf. I don’t think it’s a matter of manners so much as having freedom to tune out in public that we don’t have under normal circumstances.
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totally agree, it’s just customs and not a sign of more or less appreciation, just different ways in the way it is expressed. And ditto about the language issue. And to be fair i’m just in that kind of mood myself where i questions everything and why of things and lack of success etc It makes you probably interpret gestures around you in different ways than you otherwise would, ie makes you less objective.
In truth last week i just thought how nice for him to be able to travel to a new country, experience it under such pleasant circumstances and how lucky he is for that 🙂 Perspectives.
I wonder if knowing more of his diverse thoughts would be good or bad for both me or him in general? Would i be interested, engaged or just too confused? And likely they change so often and take such difference directions (i seem to get the sense) that he woulnd’t want to ruminate them all publicly because as it confuses him it would confuse the reader even more. After all rumination can be just that, what ifs and such, not necessarily in a clear direction or with a clear purpose.
But maybe sometimes he just feels like sharing a few thoughts just because he is stuck in them himself? Who knows.
Bottom line, apart from the ruminations which i don’t feel are conclusive any which way, i AM really happy for the fans who get to see him and who otherwise would not have had the chance. I know there are even more everywhere who also don’t have a chance, it’s always hard, but it is nice to share even briefly in the joy of those who had the nice experience 🙂
And it allows me to also distract myself briefly with some lovely pics, for which i am also grateful 🙂
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I think middle age is like that — rumination heavy. I also think this is one of those points where it’s obvious he left school at 17. I’m happy he gets to go new places (even if Seoul is not high on my personal bucket list) and I’m happy for the fans even if I’m pretty sure this must all have happened per contract. I enjoyed the pictures, too — I just don’t think they mean that Armitage was dying to do fan service the moment he got through immigration.
I think he’s just not a systematic thinker (“Armitage leads with the feelings,” as I used to say). I’ve never thought he was an intellectual. At the same time, it seems weird for someone who appears to be so guarded to blurt out these half-baked insights. Maybe because I am ruminating, too — and I’m heavily focused on the self-esteem question at the moment — but a fundamental proposition of my own thinking (as it has been since the 1990s) is that I refuse to see myself as a victim. If he can’t put himself forward and he needs to, he should; if he can’t manage it, then he has to accept that about himself. I really am tired of reading such moralizing sentiments (whether or not I agree with the content of them — sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t) from someone who seems so vastly insecure. It’s like he thinks because thousands of women are crushed on him that he has the right to preach to us. To be fair a number of people apparently think this is a good look or are sympathetic or whatever. But I want my moral authorities to actually have something behind them. I wouldn’t rule out that he actually has useful things to share. But as long as they come from this place of obvious insecurity and immaturity, they remain not of interest to me.
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Maybe that is the big disclaimer twitter and sm in general should always have: all assertions are to be taken as having meaning only to the person expressing them and are not to be taken as advice or considerations regarding the reader 😉 It’s probably again the age thing where you read other peoples’ opinions with an ‘aha’ which neither approves or disproves. At most i might think ‘interesting’ but it will neither sway me or convince me or really impact me; i just need more than 250 words or whatever it is these days to do so. But i know that’s not the case when you are 30-40 years younger … Hm, maybe that’s why i more often that not retweet articles and things rather than saying 10-20 words myself..
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So why communicate anything you think is important that way, then? I mean, yes, I agree, 250 characters are insufficient to say anything very meaningful. But to say very little meaningful for months and then suddenly tweet something so introspective?
And I don’t know if it’s age. You and I are roughly the same age, I think.
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yes, we are 🙂 I have no clue as to how his mind/moods work. Only one thing is certain, they are much more variable, uncertain, convoluted than i thought they would be years ago, way back when this all started for me. I guess it keeps it interesting, but in an up and down, inconstant, elating and irritating kind of way. Certainly not boring 😉 How much we and him have evolved in these years, that’s an interesting discussion 😉
And in some respects you are right, i never cared much what any VIP of any sort thought when i was much younger either, probably less than now. Now i am more opinionated about what people in the public eye say/do 😉
I wonder, ruminating about it some more, do you think him airing his insecurities or vulnerabilities could be an attempt to actually connect with the insecurities /vulnerabilities some of the younger fans might feel?? Not saying in this world of more care about mental health and mindfulness in general he shouldn’t, but part of me says, you’re still the adult here. While acknowledging we always have vulnerabilities, it’s probably important for young people to see in role models that there are mechanism, tools you lean and acquire as you become an adult to cope with these, no?
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I think it’s perfectly legitimate to like the customs, or a particular convention, in one place more than in another (I have had that reaction at times), but not to see that they are part of a whole system is … well, it’s like something a nineteen-year-old does. I mean, seriously, I’m glad the post-neo-Confucian patriarchy is working correctly for him today.
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Post-neo.confucian patriarchy 😂OMG 😂Bingo.
Valid point. Preferring one culture over another does not mean that the ‘less preferred’ culture is being criticised. But it is like you say – he makes a blanket statement re. a particular culture and doesn’t indicate that there are issues there (as there are in any place). I would let him get away with it – if it wasn’t a statement so blatantly informed by an experience of the world that is very different from the experience of the majority of his Twitter followers.
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I think we react that way because it’s a common rhetorical strategy in the West. When I teach ancient civ I often have my students read Tacitus’ description of the Germans, and it’s pretty clearly an attempt to hold a mirror up to what he sees as the lacking virtuousness of the Romans. To me, this statement by Armitage reads that way because he explicitly draws a comparison between Korea and how his career has been impacted by his apparent inability to read social cues and understand when more proactiveness is required.
But it doesn’t have to be that. I mean, I can say, I really like how you always know in Germany in which settings you will shake hands in greeting and who initiates the shake and who will get their hands shaken first. I do really like that. It doesn’t mean Americans are doing it wrong. Just that I like how they do it in Germany.
I feel like it’s a thing that has repeated himself: he addresses himself to teenagers without taking into account that any teenage fans he has are female; he tells people to be more respectful without considering the context in which respect is given and taken. It’s weird that he’s so insensitive to audience / context. Especially for an actor.
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Your examples are great – and yes, I agree with you there (and I concede it’s a frequent mistake I make, jumping to conclusions by implication.)
Audience and context insensitivity is the appropriate description. Thinking back to previous controversies, I have a strange feeling that it almost always boiled down to that. To inaccurate or vague statements that left too much room for misunderstanding.
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… and then fans end up disagreeing on the meaning (something he doesn’t pay the price for) in unpleasant ways. It’s our responsibility to react and respond in the way that we do, not his, of course.
I was just thinking, well, if we were all friends we would just disagree. And then I thought, well, we’re not friends with him. I wonder if it’s possible ever to abjure the power inherent in his situation as speaker. I’ve learned over the years that while it’s possible to undermine my own authority as a professor (in more or less productive ways), in the end I can’t ever truly get rid of it all, and that gives me a much greater responsibility not to abuse the role. I think maybe he doesn’t get that, or maybe he has a problematic relationship with it.
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Both these points make his Twitter presence so difficult. The opinions voiced by him cause upset among fans – by default there will always be someone who disagrees. But ok, that is our problem, not his. As I said above – I would let him get away with anything – if I had the impression that he was aware of what he was saying. The fact that he routinely throws the beer glass into the bar – and then never bothers to clean up – exhausts me.
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It does make you wonder what he’s like in RL conversations that are likely to trigger controversy. I’m not sure what his obligations are, really, except that I know that in the situations in my own life where I am the most powerful speaker, I have some.
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“I’m glad the post-neo-Confucian patriarchy is working correctly for him today.” — seriously and this is a great line.
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I taught ancient civ this spring so Confucianism has been on my mind 🙂
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I completely forgot to reply to this. 🙂 The main thing for me is that, yes I may have insecurities too, but I’m not likely to broadcast them far and wide and where people who might employ me might see them. And as a fan, I’m not sure I like hearing that he is still that insecure and feels like he often fails, when he is approaching 50. When I was young, I wanted to be a singer, but I was not able to push myself forward. I chose a different path. But I feel like now, I would be able to push myself forward. You need to be learning on your path through life and do what it takes or don’t complain about it. My husband always calls him a B-list actor (I used to go APM but really he’s not that well-known, despite great talent) and maybe to be an A-list actor you have to be able to push yourself ahead.
Reading the replies on Twitter, the responses seem to be to reassure the poor little fellow that he is valued and loved and not a failure. Do you think that’s what he wanted? Does he really need this kind of reassurance from people he doesn’t know? Does he not have any support network at all or any sense of his own worth?
As for the comments on respect in Korea, I didn’t read that as a criticism of other cultures, more that he thinks that he himself would have an easier time in a culture like that. (I don’t necessarily think that’s true.) Was he preaching? It didn’t come across that way to me. I don’t think he is telling us how to behave, although it may have that side effect and perhaps he should be more aware of the potential ramifications rather than just saying what’s on his mind at a particular moment. The larger context of respect/#metoo in Korea is something I hadn’t read much about.
I don’t experience a lot of male privilege in my world, working in a female-dominated sector. Although the fact that the salaries are less in the non-profit sector does reflect the inequity. And in a way, I probably chose this path because it was easier than fighting for a place in the male-dominated corporate world.
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well, it’s certainly true in academia that if you wait for people to invite you into rooms, you’ll spend a lot of time staring into space. Or reading more sources.
I have wrestled with this question for years — what did he want as a response (from poorly gauged statements)? The adult men that I know well and am friends wtih actually don’t want constant reassurance; they find it condescending. I’ve learned this over the years, that the response to expressed vulnerability should usually not be “I know you can do it” or “I love you just the way you are.” When you look at the replies he’s getting they seem to be split between people who want to reassure / mother him, and people whom I know to be younger. So maybe that’s it. I’ve always thought much of his appeal lay in the fact that fans identify with him as opposed to looking up to him.
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Really, I think it’s true in any profession. Of course I am not a shrinking violet at work, because how can you be? A friend of mine told me she went into accounting so she wouldn’t have to talk to people, but now she spends her whole day in meetings with people! That’s work, unless you just work in solitude.
It’s interesting — I don’t really want to identify with him in that way. (But then, I’m definitely not one of his younger fans.) I’m happy to identify with him being a reader, being dedicated to his work to the point of obsession, liking his solitude — all things I value. But I don’t really want to see his insecurities so much, even though I think they must be real. When I first was a fan, I did look up to him in that he seemed to read more literary or scholarly works than me, that he seemed much kinder than me, that he seemed less prone to swearing than me, etc. But I’m not as sure, now, what the real man is like. And some of what I saw as “better” than me, now I see as priggish. (Is “bollocks” really more than just a mild swear? Probably not appropriate where it was used, but not sure most people would call it a “profanity”.)
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I agreed with his general point on the European Parliament protests, but I really think he doesn’t get at all how he comes off on some things.
I always wondered, if we get these regular airings of his insecurities, what must it be like for his friends? It is really hard on the crush. I identify with a lot of things he says and possibly even with certain kinds of insecurities he has — but that can’t be the primary motor, i don’t think.
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Lol. I never thought about his friends! Especially after a few glasses of wine!
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presumably they have insecurities as well, of course, so it’s a mutual exchange. Which it never quite is with us.
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True enough.
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Sometimes being italian is a curse, our lack of trust. I don’t believe a single word he wrote – I don’t believe in tweets and interviews, and it’s good, relatability is so boring! I think he wants to greet corean fans, but hates Corea, so his words sound a little weird. The whole “shy actor” thing is not really original, imho. A little storytelling is part of his work… maybe he finds nice the APM! “Look at me! I’m a little goofy helpless puppie! Love me!” or something like this.
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well, the statements about respect in Asia are pretty consistent. I do agree he probably felt required to (or perhaps even agreed to, contractually) tweet positively about Korea. Afaik he’s never actually tweeted a hotel before.
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re: being Italian — you can, at least, count on having great (taste in) food.
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Oh, yes, it’s great. But it’s also a curse! 😂
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you can never eat away from home? 🙂
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I confess I rolled my eyes when I read his tweets. Poor little Richard. If you have trouble pushing yourself forward, how about hiring a good agent to do that part for you. All the things I was thinking have been written in these comments, and I won’t repeat them, but overall I think this reveals a narcissism in him that I simply find distasteful. I was a pretty introverted person who entered a “man’s world” in terms of my own career (which is a field designed for extroverts — not sure what I was thinking at the time although it all worked out for me) and I have had to fight for every inch of recognition and advancement I have made. It was not easy and being female made it harder. He will NEVER know what that is like. So his tweets kind of anger me. And I wonder why he “confesses” these things about himself. Is he trying to do some sort of fake bonding with young women in their twenties (“See, I know how hard it is to be SHY!”), or is he trying to make excuses for a career that hasn’t reached the heights he hoped he’d reach? I don’t get him. He’s still nice to look at, but I am long past truly admiring him or thinking he’s a person I’d want to know.
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I think it’s a weird thing for (in a few weeks) 48 year old to be saying; as you note it’s more of the kind of complaint I’d have made decades ago. I think similarly to you: there are things that are required for success in certain areas of my life that I have not managed to achieve or get myself to do. (To name a trivial example: I’ve never managed to learn how to swim. Although I’d like to I’ve never succeeded in surmounting the huge mountains of fear I feel around the issue. But if you said to me, why can’t you swim? I’d say, because although I’ve tried to learn several times I haven’t found a way to surmount the obstacles I have placed in my own way. I wouldn’t say, because my culture is too focused on people learning how to swim.) I’m proud of the personal obstacles I have surmounted, and aware that there are others that I will not manage to deal with, and that I have to live with that.
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I have really enjoyed this thread and the comments on it. I saw the tweet and cautioned myself to stay away from the responses which I guessed would mainly be petting his ego. I thought the tweet was self indulgent and what he really needs is a kick up the backside. Preferably by one of his cohort from LAMDA who hasn’t been able to earn a living through acting. Most actors state they feel grateful if they can pay the rent and feed themselves and I feel like the RA that laid laminate flooring would do too. And I wonder when that all changed – The Hobbit? Perhaps despite his protestations to the contrary he wanted to be Batman or James Bond but for him to say he hasn’t been able to push himself forward is ridiculous – if that had been true he would never have got the roles he has, however talented he is.
And I won’t even get into the advantages a white, western, able bodied and genetically blessed male has as that’s been covered well above.
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There’s that too — that 90 percent of all actors worldwide are unemployed on any given day, and except for one year, he’s had several projects of different kinds per year since N&S. I suspect he’s in a career transition just now — insofar as 50/55 is often the cutoff for romantic lead and then there’s a gap before casting as venerable old tough guy can begin. But it doesn’t seem like he’s really lacked things to do, particularly as you say in comparison to most of his LAMDA cohort that never got to a place where they could live off their art (as that blogger showed).
A fellow fan who’s more or less disappeared used to say of him that he’d “won the gene pool.”
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2019 at “me + richard” | Me + Richard Armitage said this on January 1, 2020 at 10:55 pm |