The fling list

(Stolen by way of Esther. This was a lot easier than “Marry Me”!)

Name six sexy fictional characters you wouldn’t mind diving in bed with.

Incidentally, re: one night stands, I’m a serial monogamist (when I’m in a relationship I am faithful to one partner and expect that to be reciprocated), but at other times, I have engaged in casual sex, albeit infrequently. In defense of casual sex I will say: there’s something great about leaving the burden of history and identity behind and just thinking about pleasure. Also, since there is also by definition no future, you can be a lot less picky about who you choose. Aside from strong sexual attraction, the key to a successful one night stand is to be on the same page emotionally as your partner. (To this end, in my opinion, it’s a good idea to choose someone who is not all that emotionally available.) All in all, I guess that what I’m saying is that I am a fan of casual sex without having done it all that often. Whatever floats your boat (given consenting adults, no disease transmission).

So, on to the list. These are in no particular order.

First, I’m with Esther on Porter.

Richard Armitage as Porter under Danni’s (Shelly Conn) scrutiny in Strike Back 1.1. I discussed this image extensively a long time ago.

To me this seems ideal, actually, as you know he’ll be gone soon and emotional involvement can only lead to pain. Despite the “frustrated family man” story line of the first episodes, it’s hard to me to see Porter wanting to be the kind of guy who takes out the trash every Thursday night. Not unless it involved parachuting into the front yard and defusing a bomb attached to the lid of the can. Slight caveat: I would never have sex with book John Porter. Only screen John Porter.

Second, Mr. Spock.

Mr Spock (Leonard Nimoy) struggles with the pon farr in ST:TOS (“Amok Time”). I wrote about my teenage platonic Spock love here.

If you can only have sex once every seven years, but then you can’t avoid it, it’s gotta be good, right? But seriously: although I’m definitely one for the cerebral types, someone with an everyday inclination to find scientific problems more interesting than his romantic partner is not great relationship material. I dated a physicist for a while; I can tell you stories.

Third, Father Ralph de Bricassart.

Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward in a publicity image for The Thorn Birds. Richard Chamberlain was “My first Richard.”

There’s something about that soutane. But again, this is someone whose first love is the Church (or maybe G-d), so you’re never going to get anything but the crumbs. But such tasty crumbs! On an island off the coast of Australia. By the time the sand starts scratching, it’s already just a pleasant memory. Important tip: TO KEEP IT JUST A MEMORY, USE BIRTH CONTROL.

Fourth, Ross Poldark.

Aidan Turner as Ross Poldark. I really want to play with those curls.

In my defense I will say this is not just about Aidan Turner; I have read all the books in the series now. (Although I’d never have read twelve novels of 500 pp each without Aidan Turner’s prompting.) Ross is the impulsive type, but we all know — even if he doesn’t — that he really loves someone else. Also, he’s always on the coach to London or paddling across the English Channel or whatever. This is the kind of guy who’d be a pain in the ass as a husband, but as a little bit of dessert on the side? Perfect. And I think Aidan Turner has the sexy stare down pat.

Fifth, Hawk from the Spenser novels.

Avery Brooks as Hawk (photo from the 1990s).

Hawk is Spenser’s sidekick (and foil) in the Spenser novels, which I started reading at the suggestion of my freshman English teacher in high school — before the TV series (which I also enjoyed, and which introduced me to Avery Brooks. Hawk is the height of cool, but also a person completely without morals beyond his loyalty to certain individuals. The point in the novels seems to be that the thing that separates from Spenser from Hawk is conscience. (This is primarily important as an element of genre — Robert Parker was consciously channel Raymond Chandler — but it’s interesting on an emotional level, I find.) Spenser is not really emotionally available, either, but as he has a moral code, he has certain attractions. In the books both of them sleep around, but Spenser has girlfriends as opposed to sexual partners.

Proof that this is about Hawk and not Avery Brooks? I’d put Captain Sisko on this list (also played by Brooks), but he’s a widower and extremely emotionally vulnerable on that level (although not as a soldier).

And finally, Dwalin.

Graham McTavish as Dwalin.

This is the only one I feel slightly bad about — insofar as #1-4 are all people who are not really relationship material anyway. I think the loyal Dwalin could be. However, my long-term relationship heart belongs to the probably-emotionally-unavailable Thorin Oakenshield. There could be something great about an extensive encounter with the beard, the tattoos, and the sheer mass and energy of Dwalin. Although I personally don’t need heavy weapons to get off, some people apparently enjoy axe-play in bed.

OK, that’s it! Sweet dreams!

~ by Servetus on July 16, 2021.

24 Responses to “The fling list”

  1. Hi there! 😊 Would you maybe also say hi and share your link on my blog (where the idea came from)? It’s a German-speaking blog but everyone of my readers speaks enough English to also be able to check out your entry.😉 And then I could also involve your list in my overview later. https://singendelehrerin.wordpress.com/2021/07/11/blogparade-6×6-reloaded-6-ficktive-figuren-furs-bett-five-years-later/
    Ross Poldark almost made the cut in my list, so I’m quite happy to see him here! ❤️ Dwalin is a very interesting choice – I guess I’ve never looked at Middle-earth dwarves like that… 😉

    Like

    • Hi — thanks for the message but I didn’t really want to participate in the whole event. I have no difficulty with communicating in German but I really just wanted to be exchanging with Esther and any of our mutual readers. I don’t want additional traffic. Thanks, though.

      Dwalin: it took me a while. Reading fan fic helped.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t think casual sex needs to be defended, it’s fine if both parties (or more) want it! It’s just not for me, I don’t seem to be able to separate the pleasure from my identity.

    Regarding your list: it’s a good one! And your reasoning for each one makes me smile. I too have considered Father Ralph but somehow I think it can all get too complicated with him and complication is not what I would want in a fling with him.

    Thanks for playing and for the link-love. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think it does, either. I could have said “in favor of.” I cut this down a bit from what I was originally saying as I didn’t want to get into a whole thing about the definition of promiscuity.

      Father Ralph: it’s a problem, because I think the only person he would have broken his vows with anyway is Meggie. So do I want to imagine that I’m Meggie? Not so much. Also, BIRTH CONTROL! BIRTH CONTROL!

      Liked by 2 people

      • True, no one else but Meggie for him.
        LOL, yes on birth control! But then, he was a Catholic priest, so birth control wouldn’t have been his thing. On the other hand, he was breaking his vows anyway, so adding birth control shouldn’t have been such a problem.

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        • I don’t remember super clearly, but I think Dane is conceived sometime in the late 1930s, no? So maybe the measures that you and I are familiar with were not all available to them. Latex condoms came into use in the 1920s, and the RCC issued its encyclical against all birth control in 1931.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Maybe they tried the pull-out method and it didn’t work?

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            • They could have. I think the moral theology of the RCC before Vatican II classified coitus interruptus as masturbation (I haven’t looked at those lecture notes in a long time). Part of the Thorn Birds story, too, is how sexually naive Meggie is — she doesn’t know how humans conceive basically until her wedding night, and even then in only the most basic terms. And if Meggie is Ralph’s first partner?

              Uch, I can’t think too much about the story, even though I loved it at the time.

              Liked by 1 person

        • Ross would have benefited from birth control, too. Just sayin’. Although then the whole second half of the story in the novels would have turned out way differently.

          Liked by 2 people

  3. Dana Scully, Dean Winchester, Derek Morgan, Willow Rosenberg, Sirius Black

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! You got me with a couple of those! Pretty unexpected, but I loved it. I can’t get past my first name – Gerard Butler as The Stranger in Dear Frankie. Yeah, I was a little surprised he wasn’t a Korean too…

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  5. I like how thoughtful you were with your answers. I’m shallow and would choose strictly by looks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • To me there are two negatives to casual sex: unintended health consequences, and one participant who can’t let go. So I tried hard to find people who could. Since I have a general attraction to idealists, though, this was hard, as one doesn’t think of idealists as necessarily happy participants in one night stands.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Great variety in your choices, to suit any mood. Pointed ears recur! Poldark would definitely be one of my choices, I can’t resist a tall dark man in a tricorn hat, and he is certainly not husband material with his Elisabeth obsession. I’ll take Porter any way he comes.

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    • Can you imagine the nightmare? Your husband has a fatal attraction to the woman next door that it takes him decades to overcome? I’m totally with you on that tricorn, and I never realized how sexy it is until watching Poldark. They were popular in the US in the 18th c., too, but someone how none of them looked like Poldark’s hat.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Ross Poldark, the character, is a good one. I also read all of the books, but I think I mentioned before that I fell in “love” with the Ross of the original 1970’s series, Robin Ellis. Lol… when looking for pics of Robin as Ross, I came across this piece explaining why “original Poldark” is hotter than “imposter Poldark”! https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/news/a46178/original-poldark-robin-ellis-hotter-than-aidan-turner/

    Like

    • OK, that’s hilarious! I think one of my streaming services has the original episodes available. I maybe should try them out. I do feel confident though that it’s not about Aidan Turner for me ultimately.

      And yeah, Imposter Ross is wearing his “redcoat” a little too frequently!

      Liked by 1 person

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