Time passages

It’s daylight savings time again. We’ve had gorgeous weather.

Lately this has been a stressful day. Dad always knew exactly what time it was (a gift he passed on to me and HL, incidentally), but as his time sense eroded post-stroke, he started assembling clocks to reassure himself. The house had eight clocks in sight lines of his favorite place to sit in the living room; his bedroom had four. Some were gauged to change themselves on their own, but others had to be physically changed. So the changeover day was always filled with anxiety until all of them had changed or been changed. He moved five into assisted living with him.

In the end, no one is anxious about changing the clocks today. Dad died about two weeks ago; the funeral was a week ago; Friday was the inurnment with military honors.

~ by Servetus on November 7, 2021.

96 Responses to “Time passages”

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry. ❤️
    We had a funeral last week too. Still in shock and in grief. The empty room is unbearable.
    Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Serv, honey, I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and condolences across the miles.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My condolences on your loss. Your followers know how hard it has been for you, yet it is still a loss of a beloved parent. Take your time to grieve . Love and hugs for the coming winter. 🙏🙏♥️

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    • Thanks. Yes, exactly, it is hard and I would have thought I would have been inured already. Ah well. As you say, winter is coming. It will be cold and quiet.

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  5. I am so very sorry Servetus and sending you hugs. Beautiful eloquent words.

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  6. So very sorry, Servetus. You honored him as he lived.

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  7. So sorry for your loss. Sending the most heartfelt condolences and love to you at this sad time.

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  8. we had a funeral Friday, sister in law died very unexpectedly. My condolences to you and HL on the loss of your dad, may his memory be for a blessing

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  9. Je tiens à m’associer à toutes les personnes qui s’expriment ici pour vous témoigner leur soutien.Veuillez recevoir mes sincères condoléances.Votre dévouement et la lucidité de votre témoignage durant toutes ses années sont admirables. Les horloges se sont arrêtées pour lui mais pour tous la lune et le soleil continuent leurs couses dans le ciel . Bon courage Servetus! Je pense bien à vous.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss Servetus. And to all those commenting who have lost loved ones. This has been such a terrible year for so many.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks. And indeed. I wonder if at some point there won’t be a “pandemic remembrance day” or something, even in the unrepentant US.

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      • Il en est question au printemps prochain, apparemment. Reste que le Covid sévit toujours. Les variants de variants sont très inventifs, très doués pour déjouer tout prognostique sur la date d’une éventuelle fin d’épidémie. Ce virus est “diabolique” (pour rester polie).

        Liked by 1 person

  11. My condolences to you and yours. Please remember to take care of yourself too, to grieve and heal.

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  12. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family on the passing of your dad.
    Much love.

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  13. You are in my thoughts.

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  14. Sad news indeed. My heart goes out to you dear friend. Praying you will be given strength for the days ahead. (((Hugs)))

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  15. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’ll have wonderful memories to fill you this season.

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    • Thanks. The funeral was really good for that — lots of stories I’d forgotten, or never heard in the first place.

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  16. So sorry to hear that. May his soul rest in peace and sending virtual hugs to you x

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  17. My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father Serv.

    Like

  18. I am sorry to hear about your dad. You are in my prayers.

    Like

  19. I am sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to process Your pain. Hugs. Vanessa

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  20. So sorry to hear about your father. Please accept my condolences at this sad time for you and your family. 💙

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  21. my condolences to you, Serv. it feels wrong to say I ‘enjoyed’ reading about the struggles you faced but it was informative for me. I’m not there with my own parents yet, and although both of my grandfathers had Alzheimer’s in their last years I wasn’t there for the day to day care they required; it’s more that your posts have put me in the state of mind about what’s most likely to come. and really, I feel like I’ve gotten to know your father a bit from your stories. thank you for sharing him with us ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. It’s a weird thing that although there are plenty of resources out there for assistance with these situations, it’s still easy to feel like you’re all alone.

      The last two weeks have been good for stories about dad (ones I’d forgotten, or ones I’ve never heard). He was definitely one of those people who was easy to write about (my mom, not so much). As my brother said at the inurnment, “I bet everybody here’s got a story about some goofy thing he did.”

      Liked by 2 people

  22. I want to express my sincères condoléances to you and your family. I am not good in words, so I pray for you and may he rest in peace. Sending virtual hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Oh my goodness, Servetus, I’m so very sorry for your loss! May your father’s memory be a blessing. (((Hugs)))

    Like

  24. My sincerest condolences on your loss.

    Like

  25. So sorry for your loss. We don’t know each other personally but I am grateful for you taking us on this journey over the past few years.

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  26. I am so sorry, Serv. All I can do is hug you virtually. Hang on! :hug: ❤

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  27. My condolences. Peace to you.

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  28. Very sad news. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and condolences to all the family.

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  29. Sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences.

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  30. Love to you and your family right now, Dr. S.

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  31. Very sad news. Sending my deepest condolences and prayers of comfort to you and your family.

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  32. I was beginning to get worried about your silence lately. I’m so sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. My condolences to you and your family. From all that you have shared with us, rest knowing you were a good daughter.

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  34. I am so sorry for your loss.
    I will pray for peace and healing for you and your brother. You spent so much time caring for him, and no doubt it will take time to adjust to this. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace.

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  35. My sincere condolences Servetus.
    {{{Hugs}}}

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  36. I’m so sorry for your loss. Toutes mes condoléances à toi et à ta famille.

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  37. my condolences

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  38. I am so very sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. Like others have said, your reflections about life with him have been–I don’t know how to say it properly… enlightening, moving, thought-provoking, necessary.

    I hope you and the rest of your family are coping as well as can be. May God grace you all with patience, resilience, and love.

    I think, perhaps, that it’s a big ball of feelings, that doesn’t ever get completely untangled, but you just learn to live with it, in a sort of peace, I hope.

    Prayers from me to you ❤

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    • Thanks. Yes about the tangle of feelings. Usually those things separate into their individual strands, but I’m still in overload phase right now. Eventually it will probably feel necessary to write about all that, too, as a part of processing. And thanks for continuing to read.

      Like

  39. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Like

  40. So sorry to read this, Serv. I had wondered about the reason for your silence. Sorry for your loss. Your relationship was fraught, but he’s still your dad (((Hugs)))

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    • Thanks and thanks for your concern. Hopefully I’ll be able to wind up the spring and get some more written. And indeed. In the end, he was always my dad. HL and I were talking about this question the other day, and the ironies of how relationships work out.

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  41. Herzliches Beileid, Servetus!😔

    Sending positive energy your way, hoping it helps a little bit…

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  42. I’m so sorry for your loss. hugs

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  43. I’m very sorry to read this Servetus. It has been a long and challenging road for you the last few years. May your dad rest in peace.

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    • Thanks for your good wishes. In a way, it’s weird that I have the feeling of not knowing what to do next (given how mixed my feelings about being dad’s protector have been).

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  44. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Like

  45. Inna lillahi wa innalilaihi raajioon.
    As we come from God , to Him is our return.
    This is the first time I have checked in in age and have just read of your father’s passing. I am so very sorry to here of your loss. May God be your comfort and support in this difficult time.
    Sending love , prayers and hugs your way.
    Fauzia x

    Like

  46. My feelings, dear Servetus… I can’t remember how long I’ve been following your posts here, but strangely, I feel they bring us closer in some way. On 12/06 it will be 2 years since my father’s departure and months ago I shared here the move I was about to make to my own apartment after 1 year stuck in his house with all the memories and frequent feeling that he was always there. I moved in August and today I can see how important this was, as several weeks ago I stopped crying, I went back to running and taking care of myself. Believe me, the grief, the pain, everything will pass… Just keep walking and leave the rest behind. The memories won’t fade, but the pain will lose its strength. Just keep walking… Here in Brazil my prayers are with you. Please, dont stop. I love you 💞

    Like

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