Time passages
It’s daylight savings time again. We’ve had gorgeous weather.
Lately this has been a stressful day. Dad always knew exactly what time it was (a gift he passed on to me and HL, incidentally), but as his time sense eroded post-stroke, he started assembling clocks to reassure himself. The house had eight clocks in sight lines of his favorite place to sit in the living room; his bedroom had four. Some were gauged to change themselves on their own, but others had to be physically changed. So the changeover day was always filled with anxiety until all of them had changed or been changed. He moved five into assisted living with him.
In the end, no one is anxious about changing the clocks today. Dad died about two weeks ago; the funeral was a week ago; Friday was the inurnment with military honors.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
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capitolcrimes said this on November 7, 2021 at 5:48 pm |
Thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 10:41 pm |
Condoglianze! Sorry for your loss
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Lurkerella said this on November 10, 2021 at 12:35 pm |
Thank you.
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Servetus said this on November 15, 2021 at 10:12 pm |
I’m so sorry. ❤️
We had a funeral last week too. Still in shock and in grief. The empty room is unbearable.
Hugs.
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Olga said this on November 7, 2021 at 5:58 pm |
My condolences too, Olga.
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Armidreamer said this on November 7, 2021 at 6:22 pm |
I’m sorry for your loss. These memories that pull at our hearts are rough. Hugs to you, too.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 10:41 pm |
Serv, honey, I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and condolences across the miles.
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ladygrayse said this on November 7, 2021 at 6:02 pm |
Thank you.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 10:42 pm |
My condolences on your loss. Your followers know how hard it has been for you, yet it is still a loss of a beloved parent. Take your time to grieve . Love and hugs for the coming winter. 🙏🙏♥️
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Lynne Owen said this on November 7, 2021 at 6:12 pm |
Thanks. Yes, exactly, it is hard and I would have thought I would have been inured already. Ah well. As you say, winter is coming. It will be cold and quiet.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 10:43 pm |
I am so very sorry Servetus and sending you hugs. Beautiful eloquent words.
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Armidreamer said this on November 7, 2021 at 6:20 pm |
Thanks.
(I wasn’t trying to echo Auden. Really.)
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:06 pm |
So very sorry, Servetus. You honored him as he lived.
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Fairlie Bagley said this on November 7, 2021 at 6:31 pm |
Thanks. We did try.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:06 pm |
So sorry for your loss. Sending the most heartfelt condolences and love to you at this sad time.
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KathrynRuthD said this on November 7, 2021 at 7:20 pm |
Thanks. I know you’re familiar with the struggle.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:08 pm |
we had a funeral Friday, sister in law died very unexpectedly. My condolences to you and HL on the loss of your dad, may his memory be for a blessing
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cindy said this on November 7, 2021 at 7:41 pm |
May her memory be for a blessing. And I’m so sorry.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:08 pm |
Je tiens à m’associer à toutes les personnes qui s’expriment ici pour vous témoigner leur soutien.Veuillez recevoir mes sincères condoléances.Votre dévouement et la lucidité de votre témoignage durant toutes ses années sont admirables. Les horloges se sont arrêtées pour lui mais pour tous la lune et le soleil continuent leurs couses dans le ciel . Bon courage Servetus! Je pense bien à vous.
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aradaghast said this on November 7, 2021 at 9:03 pm |
Thanks. The beginning of Psalm 19 (“Les cieux racontent la gloire de Dieu”) was one of the readings at the funeral.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:10 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss Servetus. And to all those commenting who have lost loved ones. This has been such a terrible year for so many.
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Bollyknickers said this on November 7, 2021 at 9:26 pm |
Thanks. And indeed. I wonder if at some point there won’t be a “pandemic remembrance day” or something, even in the unrepentant US.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:11 pm |
Il en est question au printemps prochain, apparemment. Reste que le Covid sévit toujours. Les variants de variants sont très inventifs, très doués pour déjouer tout prognostique sur la date d’une éventuelle fin d’épidémie. Ce virus est “diabolique” (pour rester polie).
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aradaghast said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:15 am |
My condolences to you and yours. Please remember to take care of yourself too, to grieve and heal.
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susiederkinssd said this on November 7, 2021 at 9:49 pm |
Thanks. I’m mostly OK, except when I’m not. But I’m trying not to push too much.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:12 pm |
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family on the passing of your dad.
Much love.
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joan hunt said this on November 7, 2021 at 10:55 pm |
Thanks very much.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:20 pm |
You are in my thoughts.
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Frau Schade said this on November 7, 2021 at 11:02 pm |
All my heart felt thoughts of sympathy to you and the familly. Take care of yourself and let time and rest do the healing.
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Joan said this on November 8, 2021 at 12:16 am |
I appreciate it, thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:21 pm |
Sad news indeed. My heart goes out to you dear friend. Praying you will be given strength for the days ahead. (((Hugs)))
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Teuchter said this on November 8, 2021 at 12:07 am |
Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.
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Servetus said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:29 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’ll have wonderful memories to fill you this season.
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ilikepoemstoo said this on November 8, 2021 at 12:47 am |
Thanks. The funeral was really good for that — lots of stories I’d forgotten, or never heard in the first place.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:19 am |
So sorry to hear that. May his soul rest in peace and sending virtual hugs to you x
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Hariclea said this on November 8, 2021 at 1:09 am |
Thanks, and I’m sending them right back to you.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:20 am |
My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your father Serv.
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Mezz said this on November 8, 2021 at 2:33 am |
Thank you. Much appreciated.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:30 am |
I am sorry to hear about your dad. You are in my prayers.
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katie70 said this on November 8, 2021 at 5:14 am |
Thanks. I like to think that this year maybe he gets to hunt the way he wants again.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:31 am |
I am sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to process Your pain. Hugs. Vanessa
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VAnessa de jong said this on November 8, 2021 at 5:35 am |
Thanks. It seems so unpredictable.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 12:31 am |
So sorry to hear about your father. Please accept my condolences at this sad time for you and your family. 💙
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Zigzag said this on November 8, 2021 at 1:59 pm |
We thank you.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:06 pm |
my condolences to you, Serv. it feels wrong to say I ‘enjoyed’ reading about the struggles you faced but it was informative for me. I’m not there with my own parents yet, and although both of my grandfathers had Alzheimer’s in their last years I wasn’t there for the day to day care they required; it’s more that your posts have put me in the state of mind about what’s most likely to come. and really, I feel like I’ve gotten to know your father a bit from your stories. thank you for sharing him with us ❤
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KellyDS said this on November 8, 2021 at 2:07 pm |
Thanks. It’s a weird thing that although there are plenty of resources out there for assistance with these situations, it’s still easy to feel like you’re all alone.
The last two weeks have been good for stories about dad (ones I’d forgotten, or ones I’ve never heard). He was definitely one of those people who was easy to write about (my mom, not so much). As my brother said at the inurnment, “I bet everybody here’s got a story about some goofy thing he did.”
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:08 pm |
I want to express my sincères condoléances to you and your family. I am not good in words, so I pray for you and may he rest in peace. Sending virtual hugs
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Bea66 said this on November 8, 2021 at 2:30 pm |
Thanks. That’s actually a one to one translation, so very easy to understand!
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:14 pm |
Oh my goodness, Servetus, I’m so very sorry for your loss! May your father’s memory be a blessing. (((Hugs)))
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Esther said this on November 8, 2021 at 2:46 pm |
Thanks. I know you’re familiar with the situation.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:15 pm |
My sincerest condolences on your loss.
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Ania said this on November 8, 2021 at 2:58 pm |
Thank you, much appreciated.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:19 pm |
So sorry for your loss. We don’t know each other personally but I am grateful for you taking us on this journey over the past few years.
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vsee82 said this on November 8, 2021 at 3:35 pm |
Thanks. I’m glad if it’s helpful to others to read about it.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:19 pm |
I am so sorry, Serv. All I can do is hug you virtually. Hang on! :hug: ❤
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Andrea Numellote said this on November 8, 2021 at 5:37 pm |
I feel it all the way over here. Thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:29 pm |
My condolences. Peace to you.
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Youbetyourlife said this on November 8, 2021 at 7:38 pm |
Thank you
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:29 pm |
Very sad news. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and condolences to all the family.
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Guylty said this on November 8, 2021 at 9:51 pm |
Thanks. I appreciate your sympathy.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:30 pm |
Sorry to hear this. Please accept my condolences.
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Tom3 said this on November 8, 2021 at 10:45 pm |
Thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:41 pm |
Love to you and your family right now, Dr. S.
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jazzbaby1 said this on November 8, 2021 at 11:39 pm |
Thanks, and I’m sending some thoughts and love right back at you.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:41 pm |
Very sad news. Sending my deepest condolences and prayers of comfort to you and your family.
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Widoedm53 said this on November 9, 2021 at 2:05 am |
We appreciate them. Thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:44 pm |
I was beginning to get worried about your silence lately. I’m so sorry.
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nettebuecherkiste said this on November 9, 2021 at 2:29 pm |
Thanks. I know you can easily empathize.
this is probably the longest period of time I haven’t posted in the entire time I’ve been blogging. I just could not get myself together. I’d been working on a different post but I realized Sunday that I may never finish it.
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Servetus said this on November 9, 2021 at 8:45 pm |
Allow yourself to take as much time as you need, we will still be here 🙂
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nettebuecherkiste said this on November 22, 2021 at 2:32 pm |
My condolences to you and your family. From all that you have shared with us, rest knowing you were a good daughter.
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Kay said this on November 10, 2021 at 4:16 am |
Thanks. I tried to be!
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Servetus said this on November 10, 2021 at 6:41 pm |
I am so sorry for your loss.
I will pray for peace and healing for you and your brother. You spent so much time caring for him, and no doubt it will take time to adjust to this. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace.
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Babette said this on November 10, 2021 at 7:41 am |
Amen. And thank you.
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Servetus said this on November 10, 2021 at 6:41 pm |
My sincere condolences Servetus.
{{{Hugs}}}
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Herba said this on November 10, 2021 at 7:59 am |
Thank you. I know you speak with experience.
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Servetus said this on November 10, 2021 at 6:42 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss. Toutes mes condoléances à toi et à ta famille.
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LadyButterfly said this on November 10, 2021 at 4:36 pm |
Thank you. I know you know how rough it is.
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Servetus said this on November 10, 2021 at 6:42 pm |
my condolences
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prickerlmchsicom said this on November 10, 2021 at 9:23 pm |
Thanks.
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Servetus said this on November 12, 2021 at 7:30 pm |
I am so very sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. Like others have said, your reflections about life with him have been–I don’t know how to say it properly… enlightening, moving, thought-provoking, necessary.
I hope you and the rest of your family are coping as well as can be. May God grace you all with patience, resilience, and love.
I think, perhaps, that it’s a big ball of feelings, that doesn’t ever get completely untangled, but you just learn to live with it, in a sort of peace, I hope.
Prayers from me to you ❤
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Sonia H said this on November 11, 2021 at 6:45 am |
Thanks. Yes about the tangle of feelings. Usually those things separate into their individual strands, but I’m still in overload phase right now. Eventually it will probably feel necessary to write about all that, too, as a part of processing. And thanks for continuing to read.
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Servetus said this on November 12, 2021 at 7:44 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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Little Red said this on November 11, 2021 at 8:19 am |
Thank you.
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Servetus said this on November 12, 2021 at 7:45 pm |
So sorry to read this, Serv. I had wondered about the reason for your silence. Sorry for your loss. Your relationship was fraught, but he’s still your dad (((Hugs)))
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Mermaid said this on November 11, 2021 at 3:01 pm |
Thanks and thanks for your concern. Hopefully I’ll be able to wind up the spring and get some more written. And indeed. In the end, he was always my dad. HL and I were talking about this question the other day, and the ironies of how relationships work out.
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Servetus said this on November 12, 2021 at 7:45 pm |
Herzliches Beileid, Servetus!😔
Sending positive energy your way, hoping it helps a little bit…
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Anja said this on November 12, 2021 at 11:31 am |
Thanks, much appreciated. As the days shorten, in particular.
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Servetus said this on November 12, 2021 at 7:46 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss. hugs
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Owl said this on November 12, 2021 at 10:56 pm |
Thanks, and hugs back.
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Servetus said this on November 15, 2021 at 10:16 pm |
I’m very sorry to read this Servetus. It has been a long and challenging road for you the last few years. May your dad rest in peace.
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Fiona said this on November 13, 2021 at 12:44 pm |
Thanks for your good wishes. In a way, it’s weird that I have the feeling of not knowing what to do next (given how mixed my feelings about being dad’s protector have been).
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Servetus said this on November 15, 2021 at 10:17 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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Nix said this on November 14, 2021 at 6:39 am |
Thanks, much appreciated.
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Servetus said this on November 15, 2021 at 10:17 pm |
Inna lillahi wa innalilaihi raajioon.
As we come from God , to Him is our return.
This is the first time I have checked in in age and have just read of your father’s passing. I am so very sorry to here of your loss. May God be your comfort and support in this difficult time.
Sending love , prayers and hugs your way.
Fauzia x
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Peacerose said this on November 27, 2021 at 10:52 pm |
Thanks. I know you know how it is, and I hope you are well. Great to hear from you.
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Servetus said this on December 2, 2021 at 12:32 am |
My feelings, dear Servetus… I can’t remember how long I’ve been following your posts here, but strangely, I feel they bring us closer in some way. On 12/06 it will be 2 years since my father’s departure and months ago I shared here the move I was about to make to my own apartment after 1 year stuck in his house with all the memories and frequent feeling that he was always there. I moved in August and today I can see how important this was, as several weeks ago I stopped crying, I went back to running and taking care of myself. Believe me, the grief, the pain, everything will pass… Just keep walking and leave the rest behind. The memories won’t fade, but the pain will lose its strength. Just keep walking… Here in Brazil my prayers are with you. Please, dont stop. I love you 💞
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Cema said this on November 29, 2021 at 1:44 pm |
I’m really glad to hear about these positive developments (and my own suspicions have been similar, i.e., I’m not sure how I’d be even be getting out of bed right now if I were still living in the house dad built). I’m grateful for the reassurance. And sending you abrazos (I know that’s the Spanish, not the Portuguese word!) and lots of love, too.
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Servetus said this on December 2, 2021 at 12:34 am |
[…] “Time Passages” (November 7). Post marking dad’s death. […]
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2021 at “me + richard” | Me + Richard Armitage said this on December 31, 2021 at 5:59 pm |
I am just now seeing this. I am so sorry for your loss. The first year is the worst. Or so they say.
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zeesmuse said this on January 12, 2022 at 8:13 pm |
Thank you. I know you know how it feels. I honestly haven’t found most of the general advice or info about grief to be very useful either in mom’s case or now.
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Servetus said this on January 13, 2022 at 4:17 pm |
Everyone is different. I just feel like there is a huge hole in my life and I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. You just have to do what you feel is right about dealing with your losses and just don’t worry about anyone else. Hugs.
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zeesmuse said this on January 13, 2022 at 4:25 pm |