Sixth candle, eleven years in

Tonight is Shabbat so there should be two Sabbath candles as well. I don’t know where those holders are either. I haven’t seen them in a long time. Lighting Shabbat candles always upset dad, even before the stroke, so for the sake of shalom bayit (domestic harmony), I left it after a while. But I don’t necessarily want to get new ones. I like my old ones a lot. We’ll see.

All but the very cheapest Chanukkah candles are not uniform — some are completely handmade — I think these are either partially handmade or there’s a final mechanical layering process that makes the bottom of the candle uneven. The menorah doesn’t have uniform size holders, either, and tonight I had some real problems getting the candles to stand up straight and stay in place. If that isn’t a metaphor for something.

I spent my whole day on estate-settlement related matters. This is uncomfortable, not so much because there is any dispute about division of assets (as HL said, we are both way too tired to argue about anything — and anyway, we agree about 98 percent of the time) but rather because dad’s arrangements were an accreted piecemeal of things owned via different arrangements, and everything has a different routine for disposal depending on which entity is responsible for it. Add to this a paralegal whom I had been directed to communicate with, but who wasn’t answering questions because she couldn’t find a retainer agreement (such are the difficulties of doing business with friends — I have known dad’s attorney since I was seven). And finally add the need to hold for, and then speak to, variety of state bureaucracies (DMV, DNR, DIR, IRS) and I am really flat.

I am trying to be virtuous. It was a sit on the sofa and stuff Doritos in my mouth kind of night, but I resisted and thawed some of the delicious and nutritious carrot soup I made this summer. I am successfully resisting the siren call of my beer collection. Tomorrow I have tickets for the Met Live “Eurydice.” I don’t anticipate I will enjoy it so much as be educated and hopefully, creatively stimulated — which I could really use at this point.

I’m also feeling more optimistic that I actually will succeed in a blogging all eight nights of Chanukkah.


In 2010 and 2012 on the sixth night, I blogged both times on the problem of “too much holiday.”

~ by Servetus on December 4, 2021.

10 Responses to “Sixth candle, eleven years in”

  1. That’s great on your blogging!
    All that other stuff with lawyers and such is a real hassle. Hope you and HL can resolve that stuff soon.


  2. I am so glad my sister took care of all the financial formalities. It might have been beyond me. Luckily, the three of us agreed on everything, too.
    I hope you enjoyed Eurydice!


    • Eurydice was good but the plot was modified in a way that made it maybe not ideal for just now. However, with these live transmissions you never know what the broadcast future is going to be. If the production is especially praised by critics or popular with audiences, they usually send it again sometime, but it’s hard to predict. So the rule of thumb is “see it now.”

      I think the big lesson of this phase of our lives is going to be “simplify, simplify, simplify.” To be fair — mom was the financial wizard, not dad, and he stopped paying attention after she died.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the candles and appreciate they are hand made, but how strange you don’t have a candle shop or section in a shop nearby! I remember way back when I first visited the US how struck I was by fragrant candles and fragrance everywhere in shops. In fact I found it overwhelming and am glad that fashion hasn’t transferred over much . Here candles are everywhere but I do struggle sometimes to find unfragranced ones or ones with more discreet smell I can actually tolerate or like. But there are many new small businesses who make handmade ones , including unfragranced. It’s a booming industry in our search for pandemic peace and calm.


    • We do have candle stores, but they don’t stock this particular candle set. There aren’t many Jews around here, so the national chains (Hallmark, etc.) don’t put them in their stores here. It may be that the local synagogue sells them as a fundraiser, but I haven’t joined it, so I don’t really know.

      And totally agree with you about the overwhelming presence of fragrance in the US. I don’t care for it at all, either.


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