Top 10 job skills Richard Armitage should not need to use in Mid Life Crisis
Acting requires the actor to get up close and personal with various activities that characters do on screen, and Richard Armitage is known for insisting on the real experience. From hospital passes playing rugby (apparently he fibbed about his familiarity with the sport) to visits to sheep farms to shovel manure to days spent sharpening an axe head, Armitage wants to know how to do things well. Mid Life Crisis, it seems from his hints, requires him to use a guitar convincingly. Although Armitage has referred to playing the guitar before, as a child, there has been some discussion, based on his tweets, about the level and quality of his guitar playing skills. Armitage himself has been skeptical, remarking that he sounds better with earplugs and the sound turned off. He may need to sing or dance in this role. Still, at the same time, there are probably plenty of things he’s tried that he won’t have to do in this production. Or so one guesses. We may miss some of these more than others.
11. Horse riding, where he went from having his horse run away with him on the first series of Robin Hood to developing a “special relationship” with his “pony” on The Hobbit. Although I have to admit I will really miss this — unless he does some dancing where he totally moves those hips.
10. Dying. Although he’s gotten better at this over the years, too, still it’s a bummer to keep watching his stuff only to witness his demise. Hopefully, pursuing his rockstar dreams won’t put him at risk of anything more than bruised fingertips.
9. Cravat tying. Although you kind of suspect his mum did it for him anyway.
8. Broad sword manipulation. He learned it as Guy of Gisborne, he perfected it as Thorin Oakenshield, but all along, Armitage appears to have known what was coming.
7. Artificial respiration. I’m honestly hoping that no one drowns in this film (see point 4).
6. Digging graves. This was really strenuous and people slapped him for doing it, but somehow he never got sunburned. So I can imagine he would miss it, but I wouldn’t.
5. Walking on air. I mean, Richard Armitage basically walks on water already, but this was extra special.
4. Circumventing water hazards. It made him cry. So I hope for no aqua aerobics or fire extinguishing or submarines or barrel scenes.
3. Chewing the props. I mean, who needs it?
2. Washing his upper body in a bucket. Because in the twenty-first century, we have running water. So much nicer.
And the NUMBER ONE JOB SKILL RICHARD ARMITAGE SHOULD NOT NEED TO USE IN MID LIFE CRISIS:
- Standing patiently while makeup artists paint his ass crack.
More’s the pity.
You have me trying hard not to giggle at 1 a.m. Good job!
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LadyGrayse said this on June 17, 2016 at 5:57 am |
No one will hear you 🙂
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:19 am |
Roflmao
No ‘How will he die this time?’ speculation???? Bummer!!! 😉
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Herba said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:16 am |
What WILL we talk about?
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:18 am |
Boring stuff like leather jackets and beards I suppose 🙂
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Herba said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:23 am |
It will be rough.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:24 am |
Yes. Another proof that fangirling is not for pussies 😎
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Herba said this on June 17, 2016 at 6:35 am |
Presumably he won’t need to work on his American accent either. Love the original accent!
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SueBC said this on June 17, 2016 at 7:44 am |
Oh please, let him have his original accent! Guitar playing, possible singing and dancing, AND British accent equals b-l-i-s-s sigh
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Mezz said this on June 17, 2016 at 9:45 am |
seriously. He should have a whole six months at least of talking like home. he’s earned it!
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:28 pm |
Thank you for the much needed laughs tonight. I love the little seven degrees tidbits I can connect to RA. The actor who played Dean in the Lucas North screen cap plays Grey Worm the Unsullied in Game of Thrones. I often think about DDL when I read or hear how RA prepares for his roles. Here’s hoping RA never gets this “method” in preparing for a role….. Daniel Day-Lewis didn’t bathe or shower from the time filming began to when it wrapped, in order to stay in character.
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valsgal1999 said this on June 17, 2016 at 7:47 am |
yeah, imagine if the dwarves had done that. Hmmm. There was a piece in the Guardian this week about how we should all try not showering. I’d be on board but I bet most people wouldn’t.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:25 pm |
Great post Serv! Thank you for the giggles 😀
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Mezz said this on June 17, 2016 at 9:46 am |
Giggle giggle 🙂
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:31 pm |
I’m thinking the ass crack could still be a possibility, though… Who knows where rockers have their tattoos nowadays… 😉
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Esther said this on June 17, 2016 at 11:07 am |
good point.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:32 pm |
Do we have a guess what kind of music to expect? Pop or rock?
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Vanguard said this on June 17, 2016 at 11:31 am |
I don’t think we really know. I’m guessing more in the pop direction.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:33 pm |
Pop! goes his heart 😀
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Herba said this on June 17, 2016 at 4:18 pm |
well, he can skip the thing with the fingers.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 10:21 pm |
I’m worried!
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Guylty said this on June 17, 2016 at 2:25 pm |
About what, Guylty?
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Vanguard said this on June 17, 2016 at 2:52 pm |
About Servetus. When she strays into irony and humour, something is up 😉.
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Guylty said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:21 pm |
It’s Stop Cyberbullying Day 2016. Bracing for impact.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:23 pm |
On that note – they are keeping us suspended…
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Guylty said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:25 pm |
I wonder if they’re waiting for the US to wake up, or for the work day to end in the UK?
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:33 pm |
The former, I think.
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Guylty said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:35 pm |
well, I’m awake. For some reason the sump pump woke me up when it went off this morning at seven and then I noticed I had to go the bathroom. uch, middle age.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:36 pm |
snorts welcome to the age of “senile Bettflucht”.
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Guylty said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:37 pm |
Yes, she could be getting ready to hit us right between the eyes with something serious. 🙂
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Kathy Jones said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:29 pm |
Watch out!
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:33 pm |
Funny post. I am glad he won’t have to use those skills. Although you never know, his electric guitar (if he uses one) could blow up and lead to his early demise. Or his band hangs out with the Beach Boys and they go surfing together. Double jeopardy: possible drowning scene and having to be in the ocean pretending to like it. And add ass crack as his board shorts slip off his hips while he is being chased by a great white.
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Kathy Jones said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:11 pm |
He could drop his electric guitar in the water and electrocute himself. Do those things have GFCI pickups (or whatever they are called)?
OK, if HE does a surfing scene, I take back my thing about hoping that no one drowns cinematically. But I don’t want a whale munching on his ass. In my fantasies that role is reserved for ME.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:42 pm |
You get dibs on anything to do with his ass. Have you considered that he might need to wear leather pants for this role?
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Kathy Jones said this on June 17, 2016 at 4:18 pm |
OMG. The 90s. And Armitage loves leather pants.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 10:22 pm |
LOL! And I thought the veterinary “job skills” were an interesting list… fishing dog nail trim clippings out of one’s bra, for instance… but between walking on air and patiently having his ass crack painted… clearly Richard Armitage has surpassed me! =)
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jholland said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:12 pm |
replacing a prolapsed uterus in a cow (big thing around here). That is a real skill, I think. However, he’d have to play James Herriot to get that one down.
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 3:43 pm |
Lol – thank you for the fun 🙂
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suzy said this on June 17, 2016 at 4:09 pm |
thanks for laughing along!
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Servetus said this on June 17, 2016 at 10:22 pm |
Brilhant post!!
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Cema said this on June 18, 2016 at 7:49 pm |
Thanks!
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Servetus said this on June 18, 2016 at 9:20 pm |