“Three films will become 310.”
Mr. Armitage’s future employment is certain! He’ll never be out of work again! Great news! Peter Jackson’s going to make an individual film of each page of The Hobbit!
Here’s an English translation for those who don’t read German.
***
London, Wellington (dpo) – Good news for fans of Middle Earth! The long awaited film adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit will not, as originally planned, come in two or rather three installments, but rather in 310 pieces total. Star director Peter Jackson explained that the idea of making an individual 200-minute feature film out of each individual page of the English first edition of The Hobbit came to him as he went through the material for the first film. In the face of the richness of the story of The Hobbit andthe strength of the characters and of the actors, the question became pressing: “Should we tell more of it? And the answer, from our view as filmmakers and as fans, was a clear yes with no reservations.”
Fans the world over showed their excitement in response to the announcement. Malte Senfner, head of the German J.R.R. Tolkien Fan Club enthused: “Finally, each individual scene can be played out correctly, without shortening the contents so drastically, as — for example — in the hasty departure scene at the end of the third part of Lord of the Rings.”
Additionally, according to Senfner, Tolkien’s glorious landscape descriptions, some of which stretch out over several pages, will finally receive the recognition they deserve. Some of the films will consist completely of a several-hour-long panorama shot across areas like the Shire or the Misty Mountains.”
Financing for the monumental project is in place: U.S. studios Warner Bros. and MGM want to continue their cooperation with Peter Jackson through the entire triakodecalogy. Individual episodes will be released annually from 2012 till 2321. Industry insiders say the studios are particularly interested in the project because many pages of The Hobbit end in the middle of a paragraph, and thus almost every one of the 310 episodes will end with an exciting cliffhanger that won’t be resolved until the next film appears in theatres a year later.
The Hobbit: Part 1 — The Colophon, will appear on December 14th in cinemas worldwide.
***
Thanks to my ex-SO for sending me this.
LOL
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jazzbaby1 said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:02 pm |
Oh lord! I can’t afford going to so many premieres LOL!!!
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Ana Cristina (@KristAraujo) said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:10 pm |
I think Armitage won’t be in *every* film.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 7:57 pm |
Exactly. Just think of all those many ambient films devoted to nothing but scenery!! Yahoo! 😀
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UK Expat said this on August 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm |
although maybe there’ll be 200 minutes of just watching him trudge across a landscape, too. What a challenge for the detailed actor! I bet he’s salivating already.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm |
Instead of “The Hobbit” chapter reading events, fan clubs can now focus on ‘single page deep interpretation’ readings – and spend time delving into how each film might interpret the break-down of each paragraph, sentence, word, and (hopefully!) consonant and vowel relationship between the various (e.g., Dwarf vs. Elven) languages.
SO MUCH to look forward to!! Thank you Germans for the genius of this article!! 😉
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UK Expat said this on August 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm |
“triakodecalogy”. How I love that word! This was hilarious, thanks!!!
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Judit said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:11 pm |
yeah, that was a new one for me, too.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 7:57 pm |
Thanks! Now I know what am going to do to celebrate my 337′ birthday. I’m so excited!
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vec170203 said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:16 pm |
we can all go, with our life support machines attached 🙂
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 7:58 pm |
LMAO!
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jasrangoon said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:28 pm |
I particularly love that each installment will be almost three hours long. Mmmmm.
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servetus said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:29 pm |
ROFL!
Thanks, I needed that! 🙂
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z13 said this on August 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm |
LOL! Mr.Armitage dreams has just come true, he will be working tirelessly in the shaggy disguise till the end of time.
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Joanna said this on August 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm |
I hadn’t thought of that, Joanna, but you’re right. This will totally reduce his sex symbol appeal if he sticks with it.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 7:58 pm |
Just brilliant, thanks.
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Richkitsch said this on August 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm |
I must have missed that it is the 1st of April ;o)
But does that mean, RA with long beard all the time ? No stubbles and clean shave looks some time soon ? But on the other hand he would be able to grow his own to the sensational dwarf llengths and proportions ;o)
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cdoart said this on August 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm |
yes, there might be only beard and no more Armitage.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 7:58 pm |
This accomodates us Germans, as we (you all know that!) tend to prefer sheer endless in-depth studies!!!!!
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linda60 said this on August 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm |
Yes, I think it was no coincidence that the positive comment came from the rpesident of the German fan club.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm |
I have booked my place in the cryrogenics unit with Walt Disney and they have agreed that they will wake me every year for the premiere. I am hoping they will have a special viewing area for me as I will probably stink a bit by then.
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rosiepig said this on August 3, 2012 at 12:08 am |
LMAO!
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm |
But I won’t be here in 2321! (Nor will RA. Or PJ…)
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fitzg said this on August 3, 2012 at 12:53 am |
arrangements are being made, I think.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm |
LOL very funny. Love “The Hobbit – Pat 1: The Colophon.”
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Saraleee said this on August 3, 2012 at 1:14 am |
I loved that, too.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm |
ROFLMAO
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ItsJSforMe said this on August 3, 2012 at 1:50 am |
Did you put a disclaimer on this? 😉
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judiang said this on August 3, 2012 at 2:31 am |
No. If you have to warn people it’s a joke, it won’t be funny!
Let every fan use her own brain!
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:02 pm |
:D…it’s called courage!
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Joanna said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:46 pm |
Giggles! Well done!
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Gratiana Lovelace said this on August 3, 2012 at 3:28 am |
In case there’s any confusion, I didn’t write this — just translated it.
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servetus said this on August 3, 2012 at 8:02 pm |
Lol, Servetus. 🙂
301 movies… oops, it’s urgent that I become eternal (Edwaaaard Cullen, where are you ???), unless I will not be able to see all the movies, lol.
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april73 said this on August 6, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
[…] proposed expansion of the studio project to film the 1937 J.R.R. Tolkien novel from two to three to 310 feature-length films. During the conversation, a Warner Bros. executive identified in the document […]
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Leaked Jackson plan sparks concern among Armitage fangirls, doctors « Me + Richard Armitage said this on September 21, 2012 at 12:38 am |